New Year's Eve
New Year's Eve: That time spent going off your nut with friends and strangers after Christmas. It will never, ever, ever be as good as you think it's going to be.
Just The Facts
- In countries whose year is based on the Gregorian calendar, New Year's Eve is December 31.
- But that's OK if yours doesn't- it's the NEW YEAR duuuuude!!
Cracked on New Year's Eve
The best parties are the ones where people just turn up, get wasted, and then leave at whatever time kills the vibe least. For this reason, NYE parties generally suck since they're usually organized by someone in the middle of October, heartlessly managing to snatch all the best invitees before anyone has a chance to double-book themselves and making them RSVP on annoying-ass themed invite cards.
We're not trying to kill your buzz, it's just the way it is. So, here are a few tips to ensure that whatever happens, you have a good night.
- Do not dedicate yourself to any one party. "Maybe" every single invite on Facebook. Give the impression that you might actually be out the country at that time or pretend that you're going to "spend some more time with your family."
- DO NOT organize your own party.
- Find a compatriot like yourself who wouldn't mind, we mean really wouldn't mind if, at midnight, you were both just drunk at home watching John Carpenter movies.
- Don't worry, that won't happen.
- It might.
Yes!!!
- Get wasted in whatever way suits you before you get to the party. Sounds like a bad idea? That doesn't matter because (a) it's New Year's Eve and (b) you don't want to turn up to a party that's so shit you wanna leave but someone has guilt tripped you into staying. If you're already drunk, fun just happens and you regret nothing.
- Even if no one else knows where you're going to be at midnight, you must try to have a vague idea where you might be by about 11. Cell-phones don't work on NYE since everyone is sending photos to each other or some shit.
- Carry a full hip-flask at all times, for obvious reasons.
- Do not think that the parties peak at midnight. This is bullshit. The parties peak at around 4am, so aim to be wherever you want to be by around then.
- Don't go to a club unless you didn't pay for the ticket. Seriously, have you ever been to a night club on New Year's Eve? "Horror" doesn't even come close.
Just this. Over and over again.
"Every TV in the world is tuned to a guy in Times Square that nobody can hear". This is why other countries think Americans are stupid.
ReplyParty?? My birthday is Dec,6th and the "Party" ends the day after the Super Bowl.NYE's just coming out for the second half...
Replywas in Denmark to party
ReplyMy New Years was doing a jigsaw puzzle and drinking with some vikings.
ReplyLoving the article.
ReplyStayed up till 5 AM drinking with my dad and playing Dragon Age. Best. New Year. Ever.
ReplyMy NYE was basically sitting in my friend's front room drinking and watching TV while my other friend and his girl did unspeakable things on the floor.
ReplyI'm glad I wasn't raised in a trailer.
"realise that every tv in the world....."
Reply Hide All See All 10 RepliesIt always amazes me when americans think that America is the entire world.
Really? Always? Do you suffer Alzheimers?
Not one for sarcasm, are ya bub?
Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful.
It always amazes me when people of foreign origin try to make themselves feel superior to Americans.
Really? Always? Do you suffer Alzheimers?
Wait, what?
it's not the entire world... it's just the part that matters
It always amazes me when Americans try to make themselves feel superior to people of foreign origin. And yes, I did copy and paste from your reply :D
It always amazes me when people of foreign origin try to make themselves amazed at Americans making themselves feel superior to people of foreign origin.
That's true.
I am always amazed how stupid internet comments can be. Every. Single. Time.
For me it ended up being me and a few pals waste watching supernatural and commenting about how daemons must have great tits.
ReplyI lol'd hard at, "Shit. That Gallagher"
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesthank you!
he's funnier, smarter, and cooler than liam or noel could ever be, even with an icepick up their a$$es
actually, I LOVE gallagher, and have seen him live. the joke worked because more people like Oasis as far as I know.
I got high, sat around with my dog and watched WW2 in HD, 8 episodes in a row, on demand. Best. New Years. Ever.
ReplyMy new years eve was great, but I picture it like that scene from the Simpsons where Homer is standing outside Moe's then it cuts to "scene missing", then it ends with everyone dancing around a flag pole.
Replyhahahahaha great reference
As a foreigner, I can say the same crap happen in other countries. It doesn't happen the famous "happy year's kiss" that occur in NYC, but people around the globe acts the way they never will in the other 364 days a year (or 365 days if leap year) We can not blame the alcohol, (which in this case are navigable amounts of alcohol) that someone can drink it any other day of the year and will not be anything special. That should be the spirit of the holidays or something.Anyway, a sober seeing so many people get drunk and losing all traces of dignity, self-esteem or even regard for human life, It's the funniest thing in world
ReplyThis was the best NYE for me. Just a friend and me watch all 3 LotRs extended version dvds.
Replyturns out i actually did have to listen to someone who was f*****g wasted getting yelled at. Always fun.
ReplyAs a procrastinator, I put off celebrating New Year's for about five minutes. Then when I was ready it turned out I had to wait almost a whole nother YEAR to celebrate it.
ReplyAs you can imagine, something like this is positively heart-breaking for a procrastinating kind of a fellow.
I'll think about it in a while.
I got food poisoning hours before midnight and spent the night alone puking and shitting my brains out. Do nightmares count as fantasy?
ReplyDude!! I got food poisoning for New Years too! Except in my case my girlfriend decided to go out partying without me and probably made out with someone. Best New Years ever!
...no wait the other thing. Sucky, yea sucky thats it.
Happy New Year, here's a Snooki joke. Starting as we mean to continue.
ReplyI streamed Black Adder on Netflix, while my husband played WoW. He came in and kissed me at midnight. We were invited to a party, as well as to a friend's gig, but we were like, "Meh." We're old.
ReplyThe only thing worse than the parties is the fight for a cab home. It might as well be the zombie-apocolypse for all the sharing and help you get.
Reply