Lily Allen

Lily Allen is an English singer/songwriter who is probably most famous for insulting other celebrities.

Seriously, I want to be friends with her.

There's a Facebook group dedicated to her ass.

Seriously though, she's adorable.

Just The Facts

  1. Lily's a rare example of a celebrity's daughter (in this case, her father, Keith) who got famous through her own talent, not her parents' connections.
  2. She pioneered the whole singing with a cockney accent thing, copied so hideously by people like Kate Nash and whoever that awful band that sings "She's So Lovely" is.
  3. She's quitting her singing career, which is a shame because she gave out free Guinness at her Irish gigs.

Alright, Still

This was her first album, which is mostly about her ex, who sounds like he was the biggest douche on the face of the planet. She's had her revenge though... Listen to this song: and then pray that you never get on her bad side.

She's clearly got the powers of Spider-Man, for God's sake.

The Fear

This album proves that you can be the nicest man alive, but if you're no good in bed, you WILL be ridiculed in musical form.

It's become a fully-fledged anthem for women everywhere, and rightly so. Let's face it girls, we all know a man like that, amiright?

The opposite of this man, basically.

The rest of the album deals with themes such as ageing, and modern society's obsession with fame, and getting takeaways.

The Insults

The great thing about Lily Allen is that she frequently says precisely what everyone else is too afraid to.

On Perez Hilton: She called him a "bitter lonely old queen" on Twitter.

Pictured: The only time I have ever agreed with Will.I.Am's work.

On Katy Perry: Apparently she threatened to post Katy's number on Facebook. A lot of men were desperately hoping for this.

So they could call her on her banana phone.

On Cheryl Cole: She wrote a sarcastic song about her. Cheryl apparently thought it was supposed to be a compliment. Ha!

I refuse to post a picture of Cheryl Cole. Instead, here's the toilet attendant she punched.

And yeah...

Please don't quit music. The world needs more outspoken, driven, talented artists like you, not less. I don't know of any other singers who'd have a keg of Guinness onstage for their crowd, or of any other celebrities who'd handle personal tragedy with such grace and poise. Please continue to rock.

Before it gets too heavy...

Here's one for the boys!