Lex Luthor

Poor child, fucked up beyond compare, bald, and his best friend is superman and he blames him for his baldness. Let the mocking BEGIN!

This is a picture of, not a man, but a boy who is trying to look like a bad ass.

Just The Facts

  1. lex luthor is a prick who has a fucked up childhood, becomes bald when superman comes to earth, and has no friends. so sad, but seriously, see that bald head?
  2. used to be friends with superman, yet gets pissed when he realizes clark is superman. decides to take over earth. throws tantrum in process. all in vicinity cower under his high pitched- omygod wat the fuck is that? aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
  3. i have ear muffs now, boy that fucker is loud. look lex i said shut the fuck up! anyway also appears to have an attraction to wrestlers he meets in jail. refer to astro boy at end.

A little backround history.

One thing you must know about luthor, he had a fucked up little life before clark came along. father went overboard in teaching him the ways of business and never spent time with him, mom died when he was six, became a bald person, no one came to his birthdays. *Sniff* anyone got a tissue? im sorry its just so sad, how..... easy....he....is to mock. The guy, no matter what, is a dick. He wants to rule the world to compensate for his small penis, and he has no reason to be pissed off at anyone besides his dad. he just overreacts to so many things...

To mock or not to mock, Lex Luthor: overreacting dick.

First on the list. Lex decided to try and kill clark because lex's girlfriend (who he bought on prostitutes_r_us.com) falls for the bold and dashing clark kent. suprisingly, kryptonite is used in nearly every episode of "Smallville" and apparently nearly everyone who wants to kill clark has it (except for lex). So the assasin, whoop dee doo, has fucking rare, expensive and a small amount of, you guessed it, the fucking kryptonite. Later Clark learns lead has enough power to stop kryptonite AND a fucking speeding projectile going 600+ miles per hour out of a fucking sniper rifle. Bull. Shit. If any of you know even know what lead is, you know it is FUCKING sooft. No fucking way it can stop a bullet, even if its make out of kryptonite.

2. Sorry for getting off topic, just, god i hate that show. anyway second reason lex luthor is a dick: besides trying to kill clark for trivial reasons, the fucker also does crime. But not crime in a badass way no no no no. i mean crime in the pussy way, that if cops found him in an alley dressed as a barbie girl dancing for money the cops would have the same reaction. Here is the cops: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA, O MY GOD, O MY GOD, DUDE ARE YOU GETTING A VIDEO OF THIS. THIS IS FUNNY SHIT! HAHAHAHAHAAAA. OOOH IM SCARED! BULL SHIT. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA: you get the idea. lex thinks he's a badass, he is not, that makes him a dick. Watch one episode of "whale wars" and if that is badass to you, step to the side with lex and the dweebs, real men are talking.

3: third and final reason, lex is a stuck up pussy who has been taken by homeless people. he cannot live up to his fathers name, he tries, fails, gets raped, fails, tries, then goes to bed. This is not a villain, this is an annoyance. The only good villanous thing he has done is thrown his father out the window of a 50-story building and then after that he is slightly better. only slightly.

The end.

I have ridiculed, mocked and flamed "Smallville" and it's most hated character, Lex Luthor. Hope you enjoyed and I also hope you hate smallville as much as I do.