Physics

Physics is, literally, why everything is the way it is. Yes, even the reason why you sit there reading this despite the fact it's sunny outside and you should really be out socialising and finding a girlfriend.

Unless this is you.

Just The Facts

  1. Nearly everything you see in sci-fi movies regarding physics is wrong. This is because they would all be batfuck boring if they were correct.
  2. This article is going to be fairly general since: A. Physics encompasses everything and B. Nobody actually understands it!
  3. Don't worry, you can read this and still enjoy Star Wars.

Cracked on Physics

Thanks to Physics, you can breathe, eat, drink, think, walk, talk, masturbate and read this article. Hell, if you're really good maybe all at the same time (N.B: Cracked are not liable for any damages caused whilst trying this, merely suggesting, not advocating said manoeuvre).

Physics

Physics is also what causes all the cool, intergalactic phenomena such as black holes, various nebula, asteroids and comets. Not meaning to put a downer on things at all but it's also what will cause the sun to one day become a red giant and consume us all.

Well it's better than rabies.

Most of you will think of people/things such as Newton, Einstein and the theory of relativity, Galileo (the man those perenially lovely Catholics locked up for being correct) and the Large Hadron Collider - that one that was meant to destroy the world then promptly broke.

Above: Total technical failure

Physics in modern culture (don't let this title put you off)

Star Wars, Star Trek. Both terribly arousing (within the correct demographic), all terribly innacurate. Now. You may think ruining timeless classics for the sake of highly geeky pedanticism would be a difficult thing to make funny. You would be correct. But let's take an example. In all these lovely pieces of cinematography whenever a space ship explodes or particle cannon fired, an explosion larger than Michael Moore is heard. Sound requires a medium to travel through and space is not a medium....it is a vacuum. Thus imagine watching those huge battles in total silence! How much more fun would that be? Hell it would be like the good old days, when piano music would be played over the silent movies.

This is just so thrilling!