Steve Jobs

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA APPLEMAN!! APPLEMAN!!! PISSING OFF MICROSOFT, IT'S STEVEN JOBS!!! STEVEN JOBS!!! DOODLE OODLE OOO! WE SEE APPLEMAN IN HIS ICAVE, INVENTING A SWISS ARMY IPOD, WHEN SUDDENLY, BILL GATES APPEARS ON THE ISCREEN-

What saved Steves Job's ass.

A hipster's god

I just broke a million hipster hearts.

Just The Facts

  1. Steve Jobs made $0 from 1997 to 2000
  2. Steve Jobs makes billions now.
  3. Jobs DID NOT invent the iPod, Jonathan Ives did.

The Suck Age: 1976-1998

Before there was the iPod, there was the suck age, an age where Apple had low profitability, shitty technology, and was utterly dominated the Microsoft Corporation. Apple rose in popularity for a little while in the mid-80's, then fell back into obscurity in 1993 because of the Macintosh Portable, a bulky laptop that sold less than 100,000 units. Apple stayed at the bottom until 1998, when the iMac G3 was released.

The iMonopoly Age: 1998-Present

The iMac G3 was an immense success, leading the way for the iPod, which recreated apple's image into that of cutting edge teal/purple sweatshirt-wearing hipsters and swiss-army iPods. Apple has now become a serious competitor to Microsoft, which countered with the Xbox, a hip, edgy console that replaced Sega's stake in the video game market. Only god knows when this douche of a man will stop throwing iPods and the phone/vibrator/gun/matter creator additions that come with them in my face. In conclusion, Steve Jobs is an asshole.