Bud Light
Bud Light is the most popular beer in the world. Considering that it tastes like somebody pissed in a jar of sun tea, that's obviously not because of its amazing flavor. Long story short? It's advertising; confusing but effective advertising.
Just The Facts
- Bud Light was first brewed in 1982. It is now the #1 selling beer in the world.
- It has an alcohol content of 4.2%. One of the lowest on the market.
- But look at the shiny things! And titties! Quick! Look at those shiny-ass titties! Drink Bud Light!
Marketing
Anheuser-Busch introduced Budweiser Light into the beer game back in 1982 (along with Natural Light and Michelob Light) to compete with the astoundingly popular Miller Lite. In a nutshell: A competitor released some shitty beer, and Anheuser-Busch was not about to let anybody corner the lucrative Shit Market on their watch, and thus was born Budweiser Light. By 1987 the name had changed to simply "Bud Light" and sales had drastically increased, but that damn Miller Lite still had market advantage. To settle once and for all who could make the best terrible beer, Bud Light decided to go after the "under 25" age group, and released that demi-god of marketing; the tragically enslaved, reluctantly partying, hot chick-boning, affront-against-God mascot we all came to love: Spuds Mackenzie.
Get drunk like this dog! What?
Astoundingly enough, commercials about a drunk dog seducing human women apparently really appealed to their demographic, and Bud Light sales took off out of control. They finally took command of the market in the early '90s, and stayed there until 2001.
What happened in 2001, you ask? Was a better beer finally released? Did the world come to their senses?
No, that's when Bud Light became the #1 selling beer in the entire god damn world.
It's hard to blame the consumer, though. After all, who could resist the Bud Light marketing juggernaut? It was an unstoppable beast that spewed forth incredibly popular, bafflingly unrelated advertising clauses like Spuds McKenzie, which operated under the completely logical philosophy that "Dogs like beer; so you should like Dog Beer!" Or who could forget that classic Budweiser Frogs campaign, which consisted of the totally sensical thesis: "Frogs like beer; you should like Frog Beer!" And of course there was the timeless "Wassup Guys," which showed us that several middle-aged Tourette's sufferers preferred Bud light, so of course it's delicious! But then it's also hard to blame Budweiser for their incomprehensible advertising campaigns; what else are they going to talk about - the uncompromising flavor, rich texture and high alcohol content? There are laws against fraud in advertising...
When to Drink Bud Light
There are times when drinking Bud Light is acceptable. For instance, it's time to enjoy a refreshing Bud Light if:
- You don't like the taste of beer
- You've just finished a marathon, and have a simultaneous need of hydration with your mild drunkenness in order to facilitate a socially acceptable, but non-deadly celebration.
"There's a party eight miles from here and I plan to be ready! Wooo!"
- You come from a culture where alcohol is forbidden - like Islam or Utah.
- It is literally the only beer in your entire town, and it's better than playing "the choking game" for getting fucked up on the cheap.
- Hipsters ironically bought all the Pabst.
"Hipsters ironically bought all the Pabst"
Replyclassic.
Yes, Real Men of Genius was awesome. And this article was awesome. Props, kudos, whatever else you want for congrats.
ReplyToo much spam for me to hunt through it all so:
ReplyWhat about Real Men of Genius? Or is that actually a good campaign, even if it's rubbish beer?
/I don't even drink beer.
//Beer is serious business.
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ReplyFor fuck's sake, can you do something about all the f*****g spambots, like a captcha? I wanted to read comments about how s****y Bud Light is, not advertisements for websites offering personals for people with long toenails.
ReplyBudweiser is bottled vomit; Bud Light has a little piss on it for a smoother flavor.
ReplyGotta love "Superior Drinkability". To me it always meant "of all the gutter-juice to gag on tonight, this one will make you gag the least"
ReplyI was drinking PBR before these damn hipsters even went through that awful emo stage in high school.
ReplyBud Light is ok, but its not the best beer around. So many people fall for comercials today. Luckily you and me are not one of those people, hopefully.
ReplyI still say Bud light is better than Pabst. While bud tastes like someone pissed in sun tea, PBR just tastes like piss.
ReplyTo quote an old saying:
Reply"Bud Light is like making love in a canoe: f*****g too close to water"
Wow,this was the whiniest Topic I have read in a long time. Something I don't like is successful lets all think like me and agree that Bud Light isn't great. Here is a hint for you. No one cares about your stupid opinion, just like no one cares about this stupid comment.
ReplySTEEL RESERVE AND HURRICANE!!!! WOOT!!!!
ReplyIf you think Bud is nasty, go out and buy yourself a six'er of Stella Artois. It is the flavor of Skunk-piss filtered through Paris Hilton's Tampon.
ReplyFor some reason....I really want to try that
You poor, poor Americans. You actually think Fosters is good.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesThat's right. Out of the 300,000,000 of us Americans, not one of us has the sense to think that Fosters may not be a good beer.
Dunno about good, but the yanks I've talked to agree that on the cheap it's not too terrible. They think Stella is a class beer though, so there's not much to be done about that.
:drinks his Victory: huh, you were saying?
Fosters is like Australia's version of Guinness to most Americans I've met. It's just a cheap substitute for the real thing when you can't afford the real thing.
I'm the only American I know who drinks Fosters, and I only like the Fosters Bitter in the green can. Does that make me an asshole?
I'd like to know who is forcing this person to drink Bud Light?
ReplyI'm pretty sure that's a Hanson-Brooks runner, but it's not Brian Sell. Still, it's producing some of the best distance runners in America right now, and located in Michigan. Though, none of this has to do with the article, there's going to be a lot of talent coming out of the Michigan/MidWest area in the next few years, and it's already started.
ReplyI think us European beer aficionados are the authority on which to judge most mainstream US beers; It's not that they taste bad, they just taste like water. However one of my fav. beers does come from the States; good old Sam Adams :)
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesYa, Sam Adams is great. I've been loving the Winter Lager (and the Cream Stout aint to shabby either).
The problem with most 'mainstream' beers (including imports like heineken) are that they are more for 'tweens' who dont know any better, college kids at keggers, or people without much cash to chug and get buzzed on the cheap..so they are basically watered down rice based low abv Clydesdale pee. Comparing a mass produced cheap beer to a good craft brew is like comparing a Burger King cheeseburger to one from a restaurant.
btw: One of my new favorite domestic brews right now is Saranac (I'm drinking the Brown Ale right now) from upstate New York.
SARANAC RULES!!!!
Victory tastes like water? Sam Adams tastes like water? Stone tastes like water? stfu, Europe
Most of the US beers actually aren't too godawful bad if they're not pasteurized. Budweiser is actually mildly tolerable when it's not. But of them, you're really just best off with a Leinenkugel's if you have to drink one of the mainstream beers.
Also, anyone else notice the Bud & Bud Lt advertisement on this page? Sigh..
ReplyDamn you AdBlock, you've stolen from me an Irony giggle. Oh, wait, I still prefer not seeing blinking flashing distractions :)
Spotted Cow anyone?
Replydamn- wish we could get that in nebraska