Craptions is a contest page here at Cracked.com. Just because there is no prize doesn't mean that there is nobody willing to cheat to win.
Come on face it, writing humorous captions is pretty much a staple of comedy. Hell, it's pretty much why Jay Leno still has a job. Cracked tried to do the same thing for its readers by presenting a non-contest. Many, many, many craptions entries are hilarious and will actually make you laugh out loud at work thus letting all your workmates know you are goofing off on the Internet. However, many others are mindless drivel based on calling someone "gay", a "retard", or making a pointless penis joke. And under no circumstances should you ever combine all three into one craptions, that's like crossing the beams from Ghostbusters. It just isn't done.
"Okay, I'll handle the 'Gay' jokes, White Guy, you hanle the 'retard' jokes. Don't cross them..."
The Rules are Pretty Simple. So to make up for that simplicity, we've hidden the fuck out of them. We don't even tell you on the Craptions page that there are rules. To find the rules you must figure out (witout any clues whatsoever) to navigate away from the Craptions page and click on the "Forums" banner. Then Click on the "Writers and Readers" forum name. Don't worry, we wrote "Craption Contest" in an incredibly small font right underneath that following three unrelated things. When the Writers and Readers page opens you simply click on the Craptions contest banner. When that opens you simply click on "Craptions Rules" which is like the fourth thing down in the forum. There we sort of lay out the following rules...
1). No making fake accounts to vote for yourself. You can have one account and one account only so you can have one vote and only one vote. This isn't Accorn here buddy. While we're at it, dead people can't vote either. And no making an account and voting on behalf of your dog/small child/ mindless granny.
2). You have to make a joke about the picture. No making fun of the contest Mr. Clever pants. Make your own damn contest if you want to make fun of it.
3). No using the Craptions as a flame-thrower for a flame war. In other words, do not write "Vote here if you think Rory is a freakin' homo." Even if you have pretty solid evidence that he is in fact a freakin' homo. Perhaps especially if you have that evidence.
The following are common cliches used in the craptions contest. They're not technically breaking any of the rules, but they are annoying given enough exposure...
1) Then France Surrendered.
2) Anything that starts with "Not Pictured..."
3) Any reference to Japan when the photo is technological or just really, really weird.
4) The previously mentioned "Gay, Retard, or Penis" comments.
5) Anything that starts with "If you vote for this..." and ends with a promise of getting laid.