Cillian Murphy

He may not be very well known but, like every celebrity on the internet, he has quite a large fanbase of girls who would kill to get into his pants.

Just The Facts

  1. Cillian has played in many roles, including a terrorist, an astronaut, Batman's enemy, and...a transvestite hooker?
  2. Some of his roles were more hardcore than others.
  3. He does make a strangely hot woman though....

28 Days Later


That is the look of the man who is supposed to help protect a group of people from the zombie apocalypse....they are so screwed.

In 28 Days Later Cillian plays Jim, some dude who went into a coma after being in a bike accident (wow what a badass reason to go into a coma. The only thing that would have made it tougher was if he had been riding a tricycle.) Jim wakes up 28 Days Later (haha see what they did there? That's so clever!) to find that just about everyone in London has been turned into a zombie. Which aren't really zombies because they're not dead they're just people who have really bad anger issues... and crave flesh...but that's besides the point.

Batman Begins/The Dark Knight


One of his most well known roles as Batman's geekiest enemy.

In Batman Begins Cillian plays Dr.Johnathan Crane aka Scarecrow aka Batman's geekiest enemy. Who spends most of his time going around spraying the shit out people with a liquid that scares them but secretly I think that they all start screaming because it got in their eyes, if something got in my eyes I would probably start screaming in pain. Anyways he likes doing this while wearing a potato sack or some shit like that as a mask. I think Dr.Crane has some weird scream or scare fetish. Well Dr.Crane ,even though doctors are supposed to be smart, was stupid and forgot a very important villain rule,if you're going to make a toxin make sure it can't affect you. Well like I said he forgot so he got sprayed and went all crazy (Theory:A lot of it went into his eyes?).

Christopher Nolan loved Cillian's acting so much that he decided to give him a cameo in The Dark Knight.

Where's Cillian? There he is! Kinda looks like he's picking his nose....LOL.

Did you know?: Cillian Murphy first tried out for the part of Batman (try picturing that one folks) but the role was given to The Bale (I'm just calling him The Bale because that's what everyone here at Cracked calls him so I guess it's like standard procedure or something)

Red Eye

Just stand in the middle of the aisle for no reason and no one will know that you are a terrorist.

In Red Eye Cillian Murphy plays a terrorist named Jackson Rippner who is trying to kill the deputy secretary of Homeland Security. I think this could all have been prevented because in the beginning of the movie when he told Lisa (Rachel McAdams) that he told his parents it wasn't nice that his name sounded like Jack Ripper (as in the guy who went around killing prostitutes) right before he killed them. The part I'm concerned about is the killed them, them meaning his parents. I think that should have raised some red flags.

Breakfast On Pluto

I told you he made a strangely hot woman

In Breakfast On Pluto Cillian Murphy plays Patrick "Kitten" Braden. Patrick is androgynous which means he dresses up like a lady without actually having the surgery to have lady parts. So he almost a transvestite but is not quite there yet. Im not gonna write anymore because a big part of the people who read this won't be able to get over the whole dude dresses up like a lady thing. Plus somewhere in the movie Cillian wears a catsuit.Try picturing that one without having nightmares when you go to sleep.

In case you couldn't picture it, here it is already pictured for you! you're welcome.

Sunshine

Shut up.....I am too Buzz Lightyear

In Sunshine Cillian plays Robert Capa a physicist who along with a group of astronauts is sent to turn the sun back on because it burned out. There is absolutely no pressure on these guys except for the fact that if that didn't work everyone on earth was going to die because they used all the fissile material on the bomb to turn on the sun. Also since the sun wasn't working it made the earth go into another Ice Age (and not the kind where you see Sid The Sloth and Manny The, whatever the hell Manny was). During the trip some crazy Jesus freak from a past attempt to turn the sun on thinks WWJD? and starts killing everyone on the mission to turn on the sun because he decides that turning on the son is god 's work and I guess he forgot that Jesus frowns upon murdering people for no reason. Every one else got killed but this one chick so she distracts the Jesus freak long enough for Capa to detonate the bomb. The Sun turns on and every one lives happily ever after..... except every one on the mission.....because they all died.