Indecent Exposure

The human body can be a beautiful thing, when in a calm and acceptable environment. Less so when you’re at a mall, and 12.

Like this, but mentally scarring, and with genitalia.

Just The Facts

  1. Indecent Exposure is a broad term that covers Flashing, Mooning, and any activity which involves your clothes failing to perform their sole purpose of keeping your junk out of sight.
  2. When engaged in by men, it is reprehensible and perverted.
  3. When engaged in by unattractive women, it is disgusting and shameful.
  4. When engaged in by attractive women, it has several websites dedicated to it.

A Brief History of Modesty

For as long as man has existed, he has felt the need to show off his genitalia wherever possible, preferably to people that don't know him. It is widely known that Adam and Eve were both serial streakers, running around in a zoo with little more than conveniently placed fig leaves between their pink parts and all of the innocent, wide-eyed animal babies. Having been cast from Eden by a doubtlessly nude flying baby with a flaming sword, they proceeded to fuck like stoats and populate the world with murderers and rapists, proving conclusively that nudity begets mindless depravity.

On a slightly less blasphemous note, the practice of airing your crotch in public areas dates back to prehistoric times, when clothing was mandated not by societal norms, but by whether or not your penis would freeze off sans loincloth. Most indigenous tribes living in warmer climates have looser clothing requirements; for instance, the Piraha consider only erect or circumcised penises, or opened vaginas to be socially inept. Basically, if William Shatner and Natalie Portman ever decided to get their freak on, they'd be wise not to hump furiously in the Piraha village center, although somewhere deep in the Amazon would be the only place safe from the sound of a million desperate, fantasizing fanboys and their NSFP (Not Safe For Piraha) funsticks.

Modesty in ancient Greece and Rome pretty much consisted of rather billow-y robes and similar vestaments. Despite their lack of subway-steam vents, this could theoretically have led to some shenanigans up in the Acropolis, which, being located in the notoriously windy area of on a mountain, can safely be assumed to be the number one voyeur-porn site of all those ancient, pallid sweaty types.

Unfortunately for them, as man evolved, he, with the help of some good old fashioned Christian prudishness, decides that boobies should, for some reason, not be seen in public places. And so, The Age Of the Free Titties came to an end. This age would be followed the Age of Absurd Sexual Repression, which paved the way for The Age of Ridiculously Pervere Fetishes (IE The Internet Age).

Indecent exposure reached it's pinnacle during the Victorian ages of England. During this time, it was considered risque for women to be seen at all during the daytime. Literally, they were never to leave the home. Stepping outside in a suit of armor with bullet-proof metal locked onto your crotch would make you equivalent to the common whore, who, incidentally, looked like this:

Your mother wasn't that dressed up on her wedding day.

This hyper-prudishness continued well into the 20th century, meaning that in all odds, those fantasies you had of cowgirls riding off into the sunset on top of your wildly bucking body were wildly inaccurate, and you are merely a very lonely, creative man. The United States was not above this tradition of swaddling women in as much clothing as possible; For instance, the hobble skirt of the 1910s was designed specifically to prevent a woman from accidentally revealing her formidable undergarments.

It's difficult to tell, but that man is actually a sexist.

Fortunately, as time went on, clothes came off. Women, to be exact. As feminism emerged from the woodwork and told women that nobody could tell them what to do, more and more taboos of clothing disappeared. This probably culminated in the 70's, which was otherwise known as "The decade of girls who hate their bras". This, while fantastic for the men who supported their liberation, was not as good for the rest of the population, as these women were generally of the "liberated" sort and had some understanding of the idea that having a penis is not enough to gain access to a vagina. Even worse, feminism eventually saw that not wearing bras could have benefits for the crowds of men who enjoy that sort of thing, and eventually women were forced to make their own choices in fashion.

Then the internet came along, and anyone could find and watch a video of two completely naked women fucking in a vat of oil while wearing pig masks in approximately four seconds for free from the comfort of their own home, and nobody gave a damn anymore.

Types of indecent exposure

Types of Indecent exposure

Flashing-

Flashing is the act of exposing one's genitalia without provocation. This is generally a crime associated with men in trench coats and New Orleans. It is illegal in a trench coat, and a time honored tradition in New Orleans. On a completely unrelated note, double standards are the new standard.

Mooning-

Mooning is the act of uncovering your ass for entertainment purposes. This is less generally in search of sexual gratitude, and more in search of forcing a stranger to stare down your pimply ass crack. It is less a crime, and so we here at Cracked ensure you that no matter where you practice this, there will be no repercussions.

Streaking-

Streaking is the act of being in public while in a birthday suit, of the sort that has no material in it. This is generally peculiar to college students who are drunk off of their aforementioned pimply asses. It is seriously uncomfortable to practice while riding a bicycle.

This, for some reason, is massively illegal.