Benjamin Franklin got bored one day and decided to set the standard for American awesomeness.
1) Spend time as a fugitive from justice -- Done
2) Prove that I'm immune to all known STDs by balling every piece of available tail in Philly -- Done
3) Create largest media empire in the New World and retire filthy rich before I'm 40 -- Done
4) Discover how electricity works and use that information to save tens of thousands of lives a year -- Done
5) Help start a revolution -- Done
6) Convince the second most powerful monarch in the entire world to finance a war whose entire purpose is to prove that it's probably a good idea to kick your king to the curb and instead delegate the political power to the people themselves -- Done
7) Accomplish item six using nothing more than my awesomeness and the fact that hot french noblewomen have an uncontrollable desire to touch my penis -- Done
8) Help shape a new nation in such a fashion that it becomes the worldwide standard for wealth, liberty, firepower, and sheer awesome badassery -- Done
1) Move out of Mom's basement. --By the end of the summer, I swear I mean it this time.
2) Have sex without resorting to alcohol or cash payment. --If lowering my standards below that of Tom Arnold's count, then mission accomplished.