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Philosophy

This will happen if you study philosophy.

The tiger in Bill Watterson's comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, was named after Thomas Hobbes, while his companion Calvin was named after the Reformation theologian John Calvin.
Thomas Hobbes, who famously compared natural, unrestrained human life as "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short", also directed three seasons of 'Blossom' even though he died in 1679.
Theologian John Calvin was pretty much a dick.

Philosophy is the attempt to answer the deepest questions of existence, like 'Is our perception of reality trustworthy?', or 'Does free will exist?', or, 'What the hell is wrong with the Japanese? Seriously, normal human beings don't wind up with a god damn nostril fetish.'

Frequently there are no 'answers' in philosophy, as the answers just create more questions. This in turn creates more philosophy to answer those questions, and so on. That is why the early, original questions of philosophy (Why Grunk sad?) lead to immensely complex theories (Grunk sad because perception intercedes between reality and Grunk; cause Grunk to commit fallacy of misplaced concreteness) that eventually lead to a logical resolution (Grunk need to work out relationship between compositionality and semantic holism).

Smoking marijuana is legal if you are a philosopher, but not all police officers know this law. Make sure they're aware of this fact if you're arrested for possession.