These giant middle fingers of nature have one job and one job only. Looking fucking AWESOME. Volcanoes are the very proof that God is a man. Who else would give a perfectly perfect planet a penis extension that ejaculates fire?

A giant FUCK YOU to the face of  humanity

Tommy Lee Jones saves the day in this movie? Fucking how?

Just The Facts

  1. Tommy Lee Jones stops one from destroying Los Angeles by blowing up a building in Los Angeles.
  2. The demolition of the building alone caused more destruction than the actual volcano, killing 1/4 as many people as the volcano.
  3. In a shocking twist it turns out Tommy Lee Jones was working for the volcano all along.

BlackWonder`s take on Volcanoes

As a famous superhero I often get myself involved with missions regarding volcanoes. Wether it be a volcano destroying a town or just some lunatic scientist who`s brilliant brain couldnt think of any better place to plan out his conquest for world damination THAN INSIDE A LIVE FREAKIN VOLCANO.

Also being a scientist i have listed down a series of symptoms for hanging out near volcanoes

1. An excessive use of the sentence "FOR GODS SAKE GET THIS SHIT OFF OF ME!!!!"

2. The number eight turned ninety degrees, degree burns

3. Massive balls the size of MADDOX`s but shortly after......


The Internets "How to" on Volcanoes

Actual facts

If you are located near a volcano, upon its eruption please assume the fetus position and close your eyes. This will prevent rocks from hitting you somehow and dust from getting in your eyes, we wouldnt want any of that would we.

After having opened your eyes after hearing the tormented screams of your friends, get up and brush of excess magma off your melted shoulders. If you dont however, have a urging need to die, run towards the top of the volcano in an attempt to piss death off.

After reaching the top of the volcano..... fuckin masturbate all over the place, cus nothing says
"My balls are big" more than cumming on an erupting volcano.