Oprah Magazine

Oprah Winfrey founded O, the Oprah Magazine because, come on, what's a multi-billion dollar media empire without an insipid Redbook clone with your own god damn face on every cover?

Turns out that what you really want this year is to subscribe to this magazine. Get on that!

Just The Facts

  1. In 2000, Oprah Winfrey decided that her secular papacy would benefit from a magazine all about Oprah Winfrey.
  2. Oprah then commissioned the publication of a monthly periodical with her on every god damn cover so she can get all up in your face even while you're waiting in line at the god damn supermarket.
  3. Oprah Magazine is now published in several languages, none of which have the words to describe the staggering egoism of Oprah starting a magazine, naming it after herself, putting herself on every cover, and filling each issue with her own personal thoughts.

Cracked on O: the Oprah Magazine

O, the Oprah Magazine, is Oprah Winfrey's half-hearted attempt to add "magazine magnate" to her already interminable list of accomplishments, unaware that the population at large had already ceased to be impressed by her constant "accomplishments" long before the magazine was founded in 2000. The Oprah magazine is notable for featuring Oprah on every single cover, because when you're in her position you really have to try hard to keep your face out there.

Inside each issue, you will learn about all the things you are doing wrong concerning your diet, appearance, and your personal philosophy regarding the universe. A highlight are Oprah's Official Rules to Live By, nuggets of Oprah-approved wisdom from lots of celebrities that your mom likes.