Night Elf Hunter
Ah... the Night Elf Hunter. The mandatory phase every sun-light depraved, basement dwelling World of Warcraft player has to go through. Oh the shame.
Just The Facts
- Hunters are easy.
- Night Elves have boobs.
- It doesn't matter.
Why a hunter?
While there very well may be professional, elaborate, and or passionate reasons to play one (I'm sure if you google hunter you'll eventually stumble across them), we have one. They are easy.
Now let's backtrack a little bit and give our readers who-are-not-so-knowleadgeable-in-the-geek-fest-that-is-warcacft-this-is-getting-me-sidetracked-back-to-business some background.
Enter World of Warcraft (Dont.). Azeroth, it's main stage, is a war torn world made up of millions of pixels and people you don't want to meet (You really don't.). As a denizen of Azeroth, you shall be employed for what Azeroth is best known: War. And the endless slaughter of the local flora (or the alien one too when encountered). Oh, and pointless errands. Much like this. The question now is, what color do you want to be while you do it, and how. We'll focus on the how for this first stage.
As a player in the immerssive MMORPG that is Blizzard's World of Warcraft you are presented with 9 classes to choose from, nine diverse and unique.... We don't care. It sums up to this: 7 classes where you do things by yourself, 1 where you kind of, and 1 where you have an animal you brainwashed and keep feeding some crazy drug to the point where it is loyal enough to do anything for you. I mean anything, but I don't want to link to anything.
Playing a hunter is very different from the rest of world of warcraft because it not only has a unique and engaging playstyle but in essence it's like not playing warcraft. It will enable you to go back to all those important things you had the time for before warcraft.
Playing a hunter.
So you're basically the caption to the image, the cherry to the scoop of ice cream, the piercing to the nipple, the gun in Chuck Norris's hand. You're nice and improve it, but not really important.
So why do all these people play a character that lets them not play? Why? Do you really need to think about it?
The purple boobs argument.
Now back to the issue of what color you want to be while you do everything PETA asks you not to (including killing baby seals).
Why Night Elves? The internet provides me with these as evidence.
- Underboob.
- Underboob (again)
- Cleavage
If you would be as daring as to questiong these motives, you have but to check on this magnificent paper on specific methods of persuasion and all about them.
It doesn't matter.
It's World of Warcraft. People are going to make fun of you regardless of what character you play. While most people do keep a small dark and smelly place (not unlike my burrow) in their hearts for hunters (or Huntards as you will be called), the hatred of the community will be shared.
And if your husband and or wife is a Night Elf Hunter, and you don't know what to do, well for that rare case there is this.
In other words, this article is a failure.
ReplyWhile leveling is easier for a hunter, of any race... and dungeons... it is not because the class itself is easier. Try being a hunter, of any race, without a pet. The pet absorbs half, or more, of the hunter's damage. Try running all of the quests (after level 10 and without assistance in any form from another player) without a pet in tow. The gameplay is much more challenging. But, telling a hunter, of any race, not to use their pet is like telling a paladin that he can't have a shield, or telling a rogue that she can only use one dagger. All races/classes are easy. It's the tools of each race/class that are the advantage. An undead warlock is no better than a human warrior... because of the different advantages.
ReplyFor a true test of abilities, two players of same class, same level, with same weapons... basically EVERYTHING same right down the line, rings and talismans included... Pit these two players against each other. For the sake of your pleasure, make one a Night Elf, and the other a Dwarf (since by tradition these two races do not quite get along). Which one will beat the other one?
In another instance, take two players: one, a hunter with 300 "defense" and 20 "damage". the other, a warrior with 300 "defense" and 20 "damage".
make all of their stats the same. the warrior has his shield, the hunter has his pet. neither of them has outside assistance of any kind, no spells to use, no rings or weapons with extra magical or spiritual abilities.
Pit these two individuals against each other. Who will win?
Small minded people will automatically say "the warrior", because they're not using their WoW soaked minds. Let me just say this: I have one 'toon' in every race/class. Not one of them is below 65. I enjoy playing them all and fighting other players with them all. Let me just add this: I have killed dozens of pretentious players who think Night Elf hunters are retards because they are Night Elf hunters, with my Night Elf hunter. No, I will not meet 8,000,000 players to fight them to prove it.
Besides all of the arguments that can, and probably will, spring out of this, the last is easiest.
No, we're not all basement dwelling geeks who depend on their moms to cut the crusts off before cleaning our rooms. But, it's funny how a self-proclaimed "basement dwelling geek" and several thousand others of the same race like to pick on the so-called "huntard". If it's true... If you truely are a basement dwelling geek... then, you've probably been through all of the ridicule that you are now putting the hunter-geek through.
Shame on you! Turn off that computer right now and go outside and play with that nice jock-paladin across the street!