Night Elf Hunter

Ah... the Night Elf Hunter. The mandatory phase every sun-light depraved, basement dwelling World of Warcraft player has to go through. Oh the shame.


Just The Facts

  1. Hunters are easy.
  2. Night Elves have boobs.
  3. It doesn't matter.

Why a hunter?

While there very well may be professional, elaborate, and or passionate reasons to play one (I'm sure if you google hunter you'll eventually stumble across them), we have one. They are easy.

Now let's backtrack a little bit and give our readers who-are-not-so-knowleadgeable-in-the-geek-fest-that-is-warcacft-this-is-getting-me-sidetracked-back-to-business some background.

Enter World of Warcraft (Dont.). Azeroth, it's main stage, is a war torn world made up of millions of pixels and people you don't want to meet (You really don't.). As a denizen of Azeroth, you shall be employed for what Azeroth is best known: War. And the endless slaughter of the local flora (or the alien one too when encountered). Oh, and pointless errands. Much like this. The question now is, what color do you want to be while you do it, and how. We'll focus on the how for this first stage.

As a player in the immerssive MMORPG that is Blizzard's World of Warcraft you are presented with 9 classes to choose from, nine diverse and unique.... We don't care. It sums up to this: 7 classes where you do things by yourself, 1 where you kind of, and 1 where you have an animal you brainwashed and keep feeding some crazy drug to the point where it is loyal enough to do anything for you. I mean anything, but I don't want to link to anything.

Playing a hunter is very different from the rest of world of warcraft because it not only has a unique and engaging playstyle but in essence it's like not playing warcraft. It will enable you to go back to all those important things you had the time for before warcraft.

Sweating it.

Playing a hunter.

So you're basically the caption to the image, the cherry to the scoop of ice cream, the piercing to the nipple, the gun in Chuck Norris's hand. You're nice and improve it, but not really important.

So why do all these people play a character that lets them not play? Why? Do you really need to think about it?

The purple boobs argument.

Now back to the issue of what color you want to be while you do everything PETA asks you not to (including killing baby seals).

Why Night Elves? The internet provides me with these as evidence.

  • Underboob.

If you would be as daring as to questiong these motives, you have but to check on this magnificent paper on specific methods of persuasion and all about them.

It doesn't matter.

It's World of Warcraft. People are going to make fun of you regardless of what character you play. While most people do keep a small dark and smelly place (not unlike my burrow) in their hearts for hunters (or Huntards as you will be called), the hatred of the community will be shared.

And if your husband and or wife is a Night Elf Hunter, and you don't know what to do, well for that rare case there is this.