Dawn Of The Dead

Ok, even though a sizable portion of my Dawn of The Dead topic was dedicated to the remake,the Cracked fascists(Um,i mean benevolent overlord's) want another. A 2004 remake of Romero's classic Zombie Film.

I know what you're thinking. WHAT THE FUCK?!?

The remains of a Cracked office party.

Just The Facts

  1. The remake was directed by Zack Snyder, who would later direct Watchmen.
  2. A little known fact, Vivianne, the girl who bites Luis, Is really Andy, the gunstore owner's daughter.
  3. A number of amputee's were used for zombies missing limbs. Proving Hollywood has completely lost it's mind.
  4. Ken Foree, Scoot H.Reiniger and Tom Savini all have cameos, Foree as a terrifying preacher, Reiniger as an army General,Savini as a Sheriff.


The remake follows Ana as she goes through her daily routine as a nurse, Wrapping bandages, Treating cuts, ignoring concussion's caused by bites, FTW?

Upon arriving home and having Awkward shower-sex with her boyfriend, she goes to bed. A few hours later she and Luis are woke up by a girl from next store (if a little girl can get into you're house,then you're definitely screwed when the Zombies come) . She bites Luis. Ana flees from the huose. Driving down a highway, A truck crashes into a fuel-station (In a nod to the original) . Ana totals her car and blacks out.

What follows is a montage of events, showing the epidemic and the armies general uselessness. All playing to Johnny Cash's "When the man comes around" . Ana wakes up with Kenneth's shotgun in her face (Wahey) . They stumble across three survivor's, Michael, Andre and Luda. The five decide to head to a local mall, because big building's with numerous entrances are the safest place to hide. Arriving in the mall, they decide it's safest to split up, at least in this film they leave someone to defend the women.

After a struggle they meet the mall's security guards, CJ, Bart and Terry .Across the street is Andy,a gunstore owner. The next day a truck carrying survivor's crashes through everything before getting to the mall. In the truck is:Steve, Norma, Monica, Tucker, Glen, Frank, Nicole. Also this bitch-

She is (obviously) infected, and must be killed by Ana. Frank is also infected, The group realises the infection is passed through bites. Kenneth shoots Frank when he turns. The group enjoys many luxieries of the mall. One night while having dinner, the lights go out. Michael, Kenneth, CJ and Bart go to find the generator. They discover a dog, Bart is killed by swarming zombies. The trio sucessfully turn on the generator.

Luda, infected by a partial bite poops out a little Zombie-Baby, Norma discovers this and her and Andre exchange gunfire. By the way Norma is a grandmother and she lasts longer than Andre. Ana kills the Zombie-Baby. The remaining survivor's hatch a plan to leave the mall for Steve's boat in the marina.They reinforce two buses with chainsaw's and metal plating. Andy is starving so they send the dog with over with a ham sandwich, but Nicole goes after it. When they rescue her they discover Andy has gone all Brains!!! . Kenneth tearfully shoots him. Tucker is killed and through Steve's stupidness, Zombies breach the mall.

The survivor's get in the Tank-Buses and push through the army of Zombies.

Using propane tanks,they are able to make it through. Glen kills Monica with a chainsaw after the bus loses control. The bus craches. Steve is jumped trying to escape. Ana kills him. The even smaller group gets to the marina. CJ sacrifices himself by shooting a propane tank,blowing the up the bus and a shitload of Zombies. Michael is bitten so he stays behind and commits suicide. The remaining survivor's get to the island, but are attacked by Zombies before the camera cuts out. Leaving everyone wondering why they didn't just go to Canada.

The Zombie Power-slide.

Watch the guy in the blue shirt. . .