Scary Movie

We'll see how that "no sequel" claim plays out.

The original Scary Movie was a juvenile parody of horror films. It was nothing to write home about, but the punchlines were decent and the concept was novel, assuming you've never heard of Student Bodies.

If you manage to peel your eyes away from Carmen Electra, you may find six other people hiding in this poster.

With the release of the second film, cracks were beginning to appear in the franchise's armor. The jokes were shallower, the parodies were thinner, and two-thirds of the writers had jumped ship.

Still, the film remained bearable. David Cross was involved, and he's known to make any piece of media suck at least 20% less.

Unfortunately, even this man wasn't enough to make Year One tolerable.

There's very little that can be said about the third and fourth films that can't be said about a copycat serial killer. They were sloppy, unoriginal, and more than a little retarded.

Stealing your tagline from Douglas Adams? Did you fucks think nobody would notice?

Let's play a little game. How many of the following are horror movies?

• King Kong
• War of The Worlds
• Ocean's Eleven
• Million Dollar Baby
• Brokeback Mountain
• Bruce Almighty
• The Matrix Reloaded
• 8 Mile
• Pamela Anderson's cleavage

I hope the problem is self-evident.

The phone is the least plastic thing in this screenshot.

While God was on a bathroom break, Friedberg and Seltzer were able to produce more "brilliant" works of parody centered on increasingly desperate sources of material. Evidently being responsible for one of the three write-ups merged into Scary Movie's script fulfuilled the conditions for whatever dark ritual summons Hollywood executives.

The live sacrifice of humor to the dark gods of 20th Century Fox.

Whether or not silver and holy water are capable of ending their film careers remains to be seen.