Seth Macfarlane

In a world full of comedy wannabes, one man had the courage to go forth and bring fart jokes and tasteless gags to all manchildren/college students/college dropouts everywhere. This man was Seth MacFarlane, and he is the one true way....

On the third day, He went to his microphone and spoke,
On the third day, He went to his microphone and spoke, "Let there be cutaways!"
The previous generations had the Kennedys. We have the Griffins. And hey, ours come back no matter how many times they get shot, fuckers!
The previous generations had the Kennedys. We have the Griffins. And hey, ours come back no matter how many times they get shot, fuckers!
Ok, they're not all gems. But hey, even God allowed Hitler to be born!
Ok, they're not all gems. But hey, even God allowed Hitler to be born!

Just The Facts

  1. Is the highest earning writer/producer in television history, with a salary of $100 million.
  2. With the cancellation King of the Hill, MacFarlane is co-creator and producer of three of the four shows on Fox's Animation Domination Sunday night lineup: "American Dad," "Family Guy," and "The Cleveland Show." The fourth, is of course MacFarlane's so-called rival, "The Simpsons."
  3. He was supposed to be on the first plane that crashed into the Twin Towers on 9/11, but missed the plane by a mere minute.
  4. His first foray into film was in the successful Hellboy II: The Golden Army, as the voice of German phantasm Johann Kraus.
  5. Blue Harvest is the only good Star Wars related creation in a decade. You know it, I know it, and we all wish George "Fuckin' Jizzbag Toyboy Asshole" Lucas knew it.

Through The Fuzzy Door We Go...

From farts that end in burst eyeball blood vessels to obscure references about Benjamin Disraeli, Seth Macfarlane has certainly left his (skid)mark on pop culture. He has his detractors, but even they have to admit how impressive this man's reach is. It is idiotic to assume that this man is human. Hulu even decided to show his true form; because of course, sometimes the best way to hide the truth is to put it out in the open:

If the serpentine being protruding from his belly button didn't make you fruit your Looms, I don't know what will.

But for a resume's sake, it is said that Seth Woodbury MacFarlane was born on October 26, 1973 to Ann Perry and Ronald Milton MacFarlane in the town of Kent, Connecticut, alongside the border of New York. Before he was eight, MacFarlane was drawing famous cartoon characters. Upon graduating high school, his headmaster, Richardson W. Schell, accosted him for his "lowbrow" sense of humor. The dicklick even tried to stop Family Guy from getting aired when it was presented to Fox. MacFarlane's parents, being fucking amazing, resigned their jobs and had the headmaster slaughtered in a bloodbath that can only be rivaled by the Crazy 88 massacre.

Okay, that last part was made up, but after hearing about what he did, don't you wish that had happened too?

Even Jesus hates you, Schell Boy

Even Jesus hates you, Schell Boy.

Regardless, MacFarlane went on to earn a BFA in animation from the Rhode Island School of Design, and was later hired by Hanna-Barbera, after he intelligently decided not to work for Disney.

Think of what horrors might have been...

Motherfucking Christ on the cross.

It's a Rather Short Way to the Top

Once hired by Hanna-Barbera, MacFarlane began to leave his mark (I'm not gonna recycle the skidmark joke) on shows produced for Cartoon Network including Johnny Bravo and Dexter's Laboratory. It was here that a couple of animated shorts called The Life of Larry and Larry and Steve caught the attention of executives at Fox. The Life of Larry and its sequel dealt with the 30-40something eponymous hero, his cynical talking dog, his wife (named Lois) and his pudgy son, Milt. Upon viewing these two short films, a contract was signed wherein MacFarlane would create a series based on the four characters. The rest, as they say, is history.

Below are the two shorts in their entirety, for your viewing pleasure.

Eventually, the slovenly dimwit Larry became the slovenly dimwit Peter Griffin, the cynical dog Steve became the cynical dog Brian, the pudgy son Milt became the pudgy son Chris, and the supportive wife Lois became the supportive wife.....umm....I forget. Never mind.

Just in case there weren't enough videos in this Topic, here is the original pilot that was pitched to Fox.

The Big Cashcowski

In just ten years, Seth MacFarlane has gone from obscure writer to the biggest name in television animation. There have been misses (Prom Night Dumpster Baby sucked) as well as hits (Quagmire's monlogue about why he hates Brian was amazing) but MacFarlane still reigns supreme.

What other corny bullshit is there for me to say except:

ALL GLORY TO SETH MACFARLANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The one being that Chuck Norris fears!