Ninja Gaiden

Ninja Gaiden is a popular ninja based hack and slash game focussing on the story of Ryu Hayabusa's bloody mission of revenge, none of that makes any difference though because its only known for being bastard hard.

The creative process for a Ninja Gaiden game

If you have played this game............it still will not fucking help

Just The Facts

  1. Started life off as side scrolling 2D adventure and was still bastard hard
  2. The game contains more ninjas than any other game NINJAS!!!!!!!!!!
  3. This game will make you it's bitch

The game

The game follows the story of young ninja Ryu Hayabusa and his complex emotionally driven mission of revenge, which usually involves disembowling as many ninjas as you can. The story is unimportant and more or less an excuse for so much blood, action and breasts you'll swear you were watching the anime version of a gwar concert. It follows the same gameplay as many other hack and slash games with the primary objecive being to fuck up any one who dares cross your badass ninja self.

Yeah this is pretty awesome

The basic premise of the game is to kill whatever enemy gets in your way collect essence (in game currency), move to new area and start over this is copy and pasted for around twenty levels. The game features a wide range of enemy types including ninjas, soldiers, tanks, zombie dragons, helicopters and the king of hell.

Ninja Gaiden mind fuck number 1

The game also features boss battles, Ninja Gaiden bosses are arguably some of gamings most difficult moments. Prepare to spend an hour beating a giant flaming turtle only to have it explode as soon as you beat it, yeah fuck you. Infact the only ingame character who will fuck you over more is the total rip off artist Muramasa. Be on your guard to be mercilessly shafted by this total dick hole as he demands five thousand essence for one healing potion. Never mind that your the only person on earth that can stop an infinite evil taking over the planet as long as he gets his fucking essence,what the fuck did he even spend it on?

My guess is heaping bags of hookers

The difficulty

Ninja Gaiden is so fucking hard it deserves its own section, seriously no other game even compares to how difficult one level of this game can be. There is a thin line between difficult and sadistic, Ninja Gaiden is so far on the wrong side it probably hurt animals when it was a child. As an example the original game had a Path of the master ninja mode (in other words your going to get fucked with a pool cue, sideways). Only 1000 thousand people are on its leaderboard which you had to complete to get on, using simple maths only one thousand of the two million people who bought this game ever managed to complete the hardest mode. Thats less than 0.1 fucking percent of gamers can even complete the hardest mode, let alone play it with any reasonable skill.

0.1 percent of gamers probably

Many gamers deem the game just too hard to complete legitimately and that you have to rely on cheap tactics to finish it, this means that ninja gaiden is just like real life with more ninjas.