The Terminator

Just The Facts

  1. Time travel in a Terminator movie is like plumbing in a porno: a very loose excuse to get to the action.
  2. Anyone expecting accuracy is missing the point (and having much less fun than everyone else).
  3. With that said, here is our attempt to construct a sensible time line of the franchise.

Cracked on the Terminator Timeline

 

1.  Terminator 1 said "Fuck you fleshbags!" and proved that no matter what you do you can't change the future.
2.  Terminator 2 said "Fuck you robots!" and proved that if what you do is blow things up, you can change the shit out of the future.
3.  Terminator 3 said "Fuck you audience!"
4.  Salvation said "Fuck you T3"


 

PLEASE NOTE: The above timeline does not include the Sarah Connor chronicles, although Cracked will be releasing "Problems with the Sarah Connor Chronicles Timeline", volumes 1 to 13-B, just as soon as the printers find enough new colors of ink.  For a quick idea of the Chronicles timeline, imagine every single Doctor Who, drunk, on pogo sticks.  And half of them are killer robots.  And please convince someone to make that movie.