Just The Facts
- Time travel in a Terminator movie is like plumbing in a porno: a very loose excuse to get to the action.
- Anyone expecting accuracy is missing the point (and having much less fun than everyone else).
- With that said, here is our attempt to construct a sensible time line of the franchise.
Cracked on the Terminator Timeline
1. Terminator 1 said "Fuck you fleshbags!" and proved that no matter what you do you can't change the future.
2. Terminator 2 said "Fuck you robots!" and proved that if what you do is blow things up, you can change the shit out of the future.
3. Terminator 3 said "Fuck you audience!"
4. Salvation said "Fuck you T3"
PLEASE NOTE: The above timeline does not include the Sarah Connor chronicles, although Cracked will be releasing "Problems with the Sarah Connor Chronicles Timeline", volumes 1 to 13-B, just as soon as the printers find enough new colors of ink. For a quick idea of the Chronicles timeline, imagine every single Doctor Who, drunk, on pogo sticks. And half of them are killer robots. And please convince someone to make that movie.