Novels are the fancy man's comic's, but we feel that we have to help, so listen up peoples, unless you want to be the guy making up a book report on whatever book Mrs. Wormwood makes you read.

The bible to any and all teenage girls (Even the cool ones who read this site).

If only a book cover had something like this teddy bear.

How 'bout this?

Just The Facts

  1. Novels are long packets of paper and each piece of paper has writing and big words on them (You know, just in case you didn't know, Genius).
  2. Novels come in many genres. Everything from Twiliaght good books. There can be action, comedy, even zombies if the writers are badass enough to take on the undead hordes.
  3. Don't worry, there's also porn in novel form.


There are some books merely meant to entertain and bring joy to your heart, and take your mind off your untouched dick. I love them! Humor is the best bet, but not all stores have them, and when you're at the air port, looking for something to keep you from shouting about an imaginary bomb, you need to have a back up plan. Now, you can find many of these, in many different genres, but they're ussually in the young adults section, so be wary as you enter. But You can find the more elusive prey, disguising itself as high literature, hiding in the science fiction, fantasy and maybe the romance (aka, the forbidden zone). Now to find it, you need to read the back cover summaries, maybe if you're thorough, you can even skim through the pages.

Sciance fiction

Now this is a pretty good one. This is where you can get your fan fics put, along side books based on video games and the like. But in all fairness, this section has the highest explosion to word ratio, thus this may be the best boner filler. Now This also has other proes, such as alien, guns, guns shooting aliens and thousands of other awesom things. The cons, every time I try to get rid of my virginity, it just keeps on coming back!


I'm ashamed of you for not seeing this, throwing down the computer, and making a mad dash for the bathroom to soap and shampoo your eyes out.


This section is called horror, but the only other ones besides mysteries are vampires, which ever since Twilight are untrustworthy. There's also some werewolf and ghost ones, but werewolves are ever so slightly tainted by Twilight's poisonous claws and ghosts are for movies. But zombies are untainted and also awesome even in books. They are the true Philosophical blood lover's books. They give a great look at life in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, surviving in said post-apocalyptic wasteland and zombies.