Koala Bears

What they didn't want you to know...

Don't look into his eyes. That's how they get you.

Just The Facts

  1. Cute.
  2. Cuddly
  3. Sexual Gods.


Wait. What was the last one? Yes that's right, the cute and cuddly Koala Bear that we know and love has a dirty little secret. Or should I say two dirty little secrets.

Oh, you didn't know? Well our beloved Koala friend has a forked male organ.

Imagine this going up your koala

But what you gotta remember is that the female Koala has two female parts as well. So double the pleasure right? I mean if turtles are anything to go by - koalas must be having the time of their lives! Well turns out that the bifurcated penis and the two lateral vaginas only have the mundane purpose of aiding fertilisation. Huh.

Also word of advice, if you do want to search Koala Penis into google images, be warned a lot of gay porn comes up. So if you don't like that stuff don't do it. If you do.. you're welcome but make sure you're alone. (Unless you like getting caught, then pretend that you didn't mean to leave the door unlocked).


Now that we got the penis out of the way (that's-what-she-said). We can talk about other Koala facts. For example, Koalas almost became extinct in their native homeland of Australia in the early 20th Century. However, they have managed to repopulate the area succesfully. I mean, how could they not? With their two pr- you know what? I'm just gonna leave it.

Contrary to popular belief Koalas aren't actually bears.

Pictured: Popular Belief.

They are actually marsupials. They lie to us with their fucking name! I mean you can't trust any of them anymore. I wouldn't trust them with my kids, would you?

Would you?

I mean there is no way they even koala-fy as a bear. See what I did there? Koala-fy? Koala. Fy. Qualify?

I'm sorry.

Thing is I don't know why I'm even saying all this because you're still thinking about it's two-pronged penis aren't you?