Wisconsin

Wisconsin, the Best of the Midwest. Wisconsin is more awesome then sliced cheese with Beer during Oktoberfest.

Wisconsin, it's a state of drunkeness.

Where's the damn path to sobriety?

Cows are only good for one thing.

Just The Facts

  1. Wisconsin is America's Dairyland. That's what the license plates say.
  2. Milwaukee is the home of Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
  3. Wisconsin leads the nation in drunk driving. Somebody has to.
  4. The Republican Party was founded in Ripon in 1854. Not even George Bush knew that.
  5. Wisconsin is known as the most "German-American" state in the union. About 40% of Wisconsinites are Krauts.
  6. The nation's first kindergarten was established in Watertown in 1856. Kindergarten is German for "garden of children" Creepy.

America's Dairyland

Wisconsin is famous for it's dairy products. It makes the best cheese in the world. Suck a teat France! It is #2 in the U.S. in milk production after California. Huh? Surprised? California farms are corporate mega-farms. Wisconsin farms are mostly small family owned and operated farms. Think of it like Wal-Mart vs. Ma and Pa's General Store. Who's gonna win? Understand Now? Shut up. Since some of Califronia's dairy products suck, mainly all of them, Wisconsin retains the title of America's Dairyland. Nobody asks for California cheese, not even California's own farmers. Happy cows are lazy and make pathetic cheese. Hardcore cows come from Wisconsin. Emo cows come from Cali. True dat.

A typical Californian cow. His tears are made of milk. Sad.

Wisconsin, out drinking your state since 1848.

Wisconsin leads the nation in Drunk Driving. Wisconsinites don't collect OWI tickets for fun, well, usually they don't. They do it to because they're to drunk to walk.

Drunk driving fatalities are nothing to laugh at.

Wisconsin lawmakers swaying stance on drunk driving.

A Blood Alcohol Content of .08 or or above will get you arrested in Wisconsin. Never trust an officer who tries to get you drunk. See the link below.

www.dot.wisconsin.gov/safety/docs/08law.pdf

Famous People from Wisconsin

Sometimes, life on the farm is too awesome for some Wisconsin breed ungrateful MoFo's. They dummingly pursue money, fortune, and fame. The following people successfully escaped from Wisconsin and made a name for themselves.

Chris Farley-Lived in a van down by the river. Also was a ninja, an overweight one.

Tom Wopat (a.k.a. Luke Duke)- Did a lotta crazy shit with his cousin Bo in the General Lee.

Harry Houdini- Escape artist from Appleton. Loved bondage.

Hildegarde- Lounge Act, put your grandparents in the mood back in the day.

Libarace- Like Chis Farley, except not funny and gay. Inspired by Hildegarde.

Henry Winkler (aka The Fonz)- Awesome even after he jumped the shark.

Tony Romo-QB for the Dallas Cowboys, dated Fish of the Sea Jessica Simpson.

Wisconsin Official State Crap

State Flag

State Motto: "Forward." as in "I got drunk, tripped, and stumbled forward."

State Animal: Badger

State Domestic Animal: Cow (strawberry milk cow pictured below)

State Bird: Mosquito

State Dance: Polka

State Fish: Muskie

State Drink: Beer (sometimes milk)

State Animal to Shoot: Deer

State Animal to Hit With Your Car: Deer again

State Bike: Harley

State Acronym: OWI