5 Reasons Macgyver Is Better Than You

MacGyver is the cool-headed gentleman. Whether he is defusing a bomb, or just banging some hot 80's chick, he does it with pure class. Here are 5 reasons MacGyver is better than you:

You know just what your gettin.

#5. He doesn't drink.

While you are out knockin down wine coolers or going shot-for-shot with the coach of a pee-wee tennis team, MacGyver is in his room, working on his suave voice over or devouring the romantic works of Danielle Steel. The truth is MacGyver doesn't need booze, it only fucks with him being concious of how cool he looks at all times or what piece of trivial shit he might use to defuse the bomb. He did take one sip of wine, but it was so he could crack a safe. He felt queezy for days...


Mac doesn't drink and disarm.

#4. He cares about social issues.

MacGyver knows there is more to life than disarming bombs and using infinite resourcefullness on everything. When others are taking down time to chill by the pool or surf the internet for fetish porn, Mac is in the thick of social injustice; conducting experiments for the hearing impaired and helping delinquent children climb mountains. He is also a campaigner for racial equality and a bathroom in every seven-eleven

#3. He is a fashion icon.

MacGyver is nothing if not a trendsetter. He does everything with a distinct style of fashion. Most secret agents don't have a finger near the high-fashion pulse. Not Mac, he is as at home in his designer suits as he is in his day-to-day Khakis. While defusing or making a bomb, Mac always follows the golden rule; "looking cool is most important". He is ever concious of how an outfit will make him look while he is in slow-motion or diving to avoid an atomic blast, and his style is nothing if not timeless.

Mac "chicks love leather".

#2. The dude is multi-lingual.

How many languages can you speak? Mac can speak four as well as Sign language and morse code (incase he needs to hit on deaf chicks or ameatur radio fanatics). They help him in communicating with the locals, telling them he is about to ravage their country or just asking where the aquarium is. He is also adept at Maritime Signal Flags, so he can converse with pirates.

Mac talking with some joker in Soviet Russia. Not Amused.

#1. He never speaks of the horrors he has seen.

Most have one maybe two big tragedies in their lives. And afterwards they spend years bitching about it to friends and on the physciatrists couch. Mac has had substantially more and has never uttered a word of sadness. They include the drowning of his parents, his service in the Vietnam war, the death of his grandfather, the death of his best friend Robinson and an accident with a revolver when he was just a kid. While most would be a mental mess, Mac bottles his angst up and drinks one each morning; just because he likes the taste. Mac just jumps in his jeep or other random awesome car, and gets on with it.

MacGyver, just seconds after his wife died.