NFL Games
What you are really watching when you tune into an NFL game.
Just The Facts
- For 17 Sundays of the year you can sit and watch a variety of NFL games, pregame shows and postgame shows that span about 15 hours of the day.
- Out of these 15 hours you probably watch about 30 minutes of actual football being played.
Watching NFL Games on TV
As proof of our shortening attention spans, the NFL is the highest rated and most popular sports league in America. The goal of a televised NFL football game is to surround the actual action with an overload of presentation and analysis in the hopes that the viewer won't notice that they are actually only watching 10 minutes of football. Since the television broadcast has this inherent down time, they have had to come up with a variety of, sometimes helpful and usually bizarre, ways to keep the viewers entertained. A few examples of this in-game entertainment:
The Good
Bringing in hot female analysts and sideline reporters which provide the dual entertainment of giving the viewers something pretty to look at, while also providing us the joy of being able to laugh at the middle-aged announcers' lame attempts at flirting with them on air.
"Thanks for the gameday weather forecast Jillian. Although it looks like there is a lot more hotness on that map than you were predicting. Especially around your breasts. Back to you, Howie."
The Bad
Being subjected to blowhard announcers' rambling comments and stories because they are forced to fill approximately 120 minutes of time between plays and commercial breaks.
"Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field." -actual quote from John Madden.
The Incomprehensible
Aerial shots from the blimp, announcers drawing on the screen with electronic pens, having viewers text their votes for something meaningless and countless other bizarre attempts at time-filling entertainment. As strange as many of these attempts have been, there is a special place reserved in the In-Fucking-Comprehensible Hall of Fame for the Fox Sports NFL Robot.
The Fox Sports NFL Robot... attracting the elusive Stoned-Power-Ranger-Fan demographic.
Watching NFL Games in Person
As unusual as much of the television coverage is, the improvement in this coverage is one of the main reasons for the rise in the NFL's popularity over the past 30 years. Some reasons many fans prefer watching games at home instead of in person include better camera angles, replays, DVR and Tivo, updates and stats, and that it is much easier to masturbate at halftime should the mood strike. Not to mention the fact that at least on TV they try to entertain you during the down time between plays. While the at-home viewers are being treated to funny beer commercials, cutaways to other games and hot sideline reporters, the fans at the game must settle for the jumbotron and actually starting a conversation with another person for their entertainment. And that is assuming that you can even see the jumbotron or even a majority of the field from your seat.
By placing little TV's above your section, even the people that run the stadium are admitting that you are better off watching this one on TV than from where you are seated.
The Future of Watching NFL Games
Every year there seems to be some form of new technology and entertainment that is intended to liven up the game itself and provide amusement between plays and during breaks. So we have to wonder what the future of watching NFL games has in store for us. Holograms? More robots? Larger breasted sideline reporters? Like most innovations we have to believe that the evolution of NFL in-game entertainment will involve some combination of the things that already work now.
I saw the good and the bad..now where's the ugly? (I do NOT count. Not this time anyway.)
ReplyWow. The basis of Football is strategy. The actual movement is so important that they have to make plays and stop to make sure it goes right.
ReplyIt's like chess. The actual movement of the pieces is like 1 second. But that one second could lead to a checkmate.
Not like Soccer where although its nonstop there are less goals and less efficient movement.
People that don't like Football can't give a logical explanation to why its so "stupid". mostly because they don't give it a chance.
well put. also ERIN ANDREWS BOOBIES.
I can't believe that people watch this crap. It's like NASCAR but with out the possibility of explosions. I would be willing to bet that at least 80% of guys who watch it don't like it but watch so that the other guys don't think they're lame.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI agree with all that you said
Well, I think that the programming YOU watch is crap. Now what?
Just one look at your name explains it all.
Crap? No crap is MTV. Crap is excrement. Crap is recent mainstream music (for the most part) This is pure adrenaline. Where else in the world will you find straight men in tights grunting and tackling each other? And don't say comic con. Those dudes DO NOT count. It's like they're not even people...
Anyway, NASCAR has the potential to give us charred drivers,but the NFL gives us those douchebags in college that you always imagined bad things happening to getting creamed. Broken bones, tears, all that shit. And it also gives us a reason to drink on Sundays all winter long. A reason to leave church in a hurry..and don't forget such beasts as Ray Lewis. I mean that guy could crush a bulldozer. The NFL is great. Cept for Brady. f**k that guy.
what i find as funny is that anyone would waste their time watching a bunch of steroid fagots talk s**t to each other and fake a big fight so dummy's will think its real and go out and buy a t-shirt with one of these queers pictures on it..
Replyactually that's basketball..
Faggots? Queers? Methinks you protest too much.
I know it's a totally different thing but this article reminded me:
ReplyI once watched WWE Raw and timed the actual wrestling...12 minutes. That is over two hours of tv, subtract commercials and you get only 12 minutes of wrestling. that was amusing, to me.
and those twelve minutes are faked
not fake, staged.
Football is basically Rugby With all the awesomeness taken out of it.
ReplyFootball, rugby's retarded child. Oh look that ones got a helmet.
Rugby is by all means an awesome sport that should have more coverage in America. Yet football players do not want to be talking like Rocky in Rocky IV after 10-20 years of playing. Just look at what Joe Montana said after his last concussion. He said he saw what looked like a lightning bolt in front of his eyes; when his head hit the ground.
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Watch NFL games live stream online for free! The National Football League (NFL) is the largest professional American football league in the world.[1] It was formed by eleven teams in 1920 as the American Professional Football Association, with the league changing its name to the National Football League in 1922.
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Replywrong. an average football game only includes less than twenty minutes of actual gameplay. the rest is all clock runoff. ergo your dumb
ReplyWow flyer, congrats on that correction. You must feel so much better about your 3 inch dick now that you've pointed out one error in this guy's Topics Page...
lol who gives a shit......
A game of football is 4 quarters of 15 minutes, ergo you kinda do watch at least 60 minutes of ball per game + time that isn't counted like kickoffs and kick return
ReplyAs soon as the kick is caught the clock begins running during returns. only exception is a fair catch - no clock running.
Screw you FOX,with my recorder I can watch the Seahawks in about 45 minutes. By the way, the robot hasn't been there forever. Actually, it only is entering it's 4th year of weirdness. That mesmerizing robot makes me miss those days when decent networks like CBC would entertain people with normal sports cartoons like Peter Puck, even though I wasn't even born yet, tells a lot about the dumb robot. hey how about we get that huge killer from robot wars fight the Fox robot during half-time : http://users.aber.ac.uk/mxw/robotwars/series4/rwmkill.jpg
ReplyNow that would be entertainment!
All I ever hear people say about that robot is how incredibly stupid it is. And yet it's been around forever
ReplyI call the robot STOT which means Stupidest Thing On Television
Replythe person who came up with that robot should be lynched
Replyhahahaa
ReplyNice article, really funny!!
I feel that there is a more deep seeded hatred in the author than is readily apparent. The "football is more commercial than actual game" joke has been beaten to death, and honestly just says that you don't actually understand the game. I'm thinking his girlfriend cheated on him with a quarterback, or something like that. Writing a hate-filled article would make me feel better too.
ReplyActually ... reading hate in a lighthearted jab of an article says a lot about you.
my favorite is on Thanksgiving, when the robot turns into a turkey robot, still does the same warm up dance thing though, WHO WANTS DARK METAL?
ReplyIS THERE ANY OTHER KIND!!!?
i'd just like to point out that i'm f*****g retarded. Football is s****y and there is no action during play that matters, who cares about the play calling, the pre-snap dancing and countless other things (my mother called me a) you bloated cream puffs have mentioned earlier in the comments, this is a run on sentence so suit up and take hit (then pass it). Not to mention every play means blah blah blah blah, bullshit. I could go on but it's probably cumming on deaf ears anyway.
Replythe article WAS funny though, i'm going to choke on a dick
I laughed so hard I choked on my dick.
I frowned so lightly I gagged on your nuts.
i'd just like to point out that you're all f*****g retarded. Football is the s**t and its not just the action during the play that matters it's the play calling, the pre-snap reads and countless other things you bloated cream puffs have probably never even pondered because none of you would ever have the balls to suit up and take a hit. Not to mention during every play you have routes and assignments on offense designed to complement each other and exploit a defense's weaknesses. I could go on but it's probably falling on deaf ears anyway.
Replythe article was funny though, just the commenters need to choke on a dick