Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden is Edward Norton's badass charismatic alter-ego that wants to save the world by destroying it. His hobbies include making soap.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != -1||navigator.us

Figh Club soap: now in orchard peach!

I'm assuming those spikes are water- and gay-proof

Just The Facts

  1. He's often spotted banging Tim Burton's hot wife
  2. He's the only guy to have gotten the shit kicked out of him and laugh while doing it.
  3. All the ways you wish you could be is him.
  4. He is a badder-ass than Chuck Norris (yeah, I went there).

Cracked on Tyler Durden

You'd expect a spikey blonde-haired white guy to be a club-hopping douchebag, but he's actually quite the opposite. Tyler is a neo-Luddist, which basically means he opposes general technological advancement and belives that values do not exist but are rather falsely invested. He started Fight Club mainly to kick the shit out of Ed Norton and show off his rippling abs and bulging biceps, but also as a stress reliever for white-collar workers to help them find a meaning to their pointless lives. He may be related to Macgyver, seeing as he can make bombs out of soap. Being an anarchist leader, he evolved Fight Club into Project Mayhem, which is a national onslaught on consumerism and all things civil. He would have taken over the world had it not been for Norton shooting him in the face.

Tyler Durden Addresses the Public

With that in mind, my life is complete.

Tyler Durden and You

Even after the turn of the century, we all wanted more of Tyler Durden. Women want him. You want to be him. But you can't. He is superior to everyone in every way possible. If Superman got into a fight with Jesus, Tyler Durden would win. Satan is his bitch, so if you thought hell was a scary place before, just imagine how much more horrible it is now that Tyler Durden is sitting on the throne. Knowing you, Cracked reader, you most likely have a 110% chance of going there in the afterlife, so just do what he says and do not fail him.

If this information alone hasn't melted your brain from sheer badassery, then let me ask you this: you know that part in V for Vendetta when V brought knives to a gun fight... and won? Yeah, that was Tyler Durden. Darth Vader? Tyler Durden. And who's banging Angelina Jolie? You guessed it, Tyler Durden.