Aqua

What do you get when you cross a Norwegian chick, three Danish dudes, a water theme and Barbie dolls? Either the worlds worst porno or second most successful Scandinavian band.

In Europe, gay and straight are the exact opposite of their North American counterparts

Wait, how did Shania Twain get in this article?

Just The Facts

  1. Aqua has sold more than 33 million albums and singles, making them the most successful Danish band ever.
  2. After ABBA, they've been the most successful European pop band in the US, Canada, Australia, Japan and many more countries.
  3. 98% of people still only know them as "that band that sings the Barbie song"

Cracked on Aqua

According to Aqua's official biography (meaning their Wikipedia article), the band was originally formed in 1994 under the name Joyspeed after working together on the soundtrack for a Danish children's film. There was also a fifth member to the band as evidenced in this excerpt from Wikipedia:

In addition, Beck Luween was part of the initial JOYSPEED lineup, playing the triangle, but left early on due to the excessive demand for her talents.

This is undoubtedly true, as the highly contested Danish triangle industry is known around the world to rival that of oil barons and wall street moguls.

The First Album

Aqua's debut album Aquarium was released in different parts of the world at different points in 1997, before the worldwide release in August of 1997. Mattel and a bunch of parent's groups claimed that Barbie Girl was about sex (which it clearly was) but the band and their label, Universal, basically told Mattel to suck it. A judge later backed Universal up.

Besides Barbie Girl, the album contained sevral major hits:

Roses Are Red - Aqua's first single, only released in Scandanavia and an instant classic in gay bars the world over

Doctor Jones - The only song (to date) written about Harrison Ford (if you can believe that)

If you looked directly in his eyes it's too late; you're already pregnant.

Turn Back Time - Appeared on the soundtrack to Sliding Doors, a Gwenyth Paltrow movie (though some would say this is more of a detriment than an achievement)

Lollipop (Candyman) - Not content with just the blatant sexual innuendo in Barbie Girl, Aqua felt the need to record a song using candy as a metaphor for sex.

The Second Album

The band's second album Aquarius (see the theme they're going for?) was released in March of 2000 and utterly failed. The only people who bought it were the people who were already in love with Aqua, and even they became disenchanted after a while.

Wow, she looks like a lesbian but she's not one! This will sell big boys!

The Comeback

In the spring of 2009 Aqua released a new single nearly ten years after breaking up. Back To The 80's was truly a masterpiece, both predicting the oncoming slew of Michael Jackson jokes in the future months and having the restraint to not reference Rick Astley in a song with nearly every other pop culture reference connected to the 1980's.

I'll take WTF?! for $400 Alex.

Aqua's greatest hits album was released in September of 2009 and the band promised a brand new studio album in 2010 (and even threatened a world tour).