Pickup Lines For All Occasions

The Pickup Line is a time-honored mating ritual that will utterly fail to get you laid. They are, however, excellent comedy page fodder.

Just The Facts

  1. Only douches actually use pick-up lines.
  2. That's actually all you need to know.
  3. So just read these, share with your friends, but don't think any one of these is the golden ticket to the chocolate factory.
  4. Wow. That came out wrong.
  5. By the way, I'm taking suggestions for lines. Just PM me on my Cracked account.

At the Bar

1. "Hi, I'm (insert name more impressive than your own here). Remember my name, you'll be moaning it later."

2. "Polar bear. Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

3. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again. Or get you eyeglasses."

4. "Do you have a little (insert your ethnicity) in you? Would you like some?"