Ernest Hemingway spent his life beating the shit out of fish. Also, books.

Photo taken off the coast of Hemingway's enormous balls.

Just The Facts

  1. Wrote several classics of American literature
  2. Known for his terse writing style and ability to drink F. Scott Fitzgerald under the table
  3. Shot his face

Ernest Hemingway: Living the Dream (Before Shooting Himself in the Face)

Ernest Hemingway was a man's man. He pretty much invented the standard for which we measure manliness today. His favorite activities included boxing, shooting stuff, drinking beer, and winning wars. When he wasn't writing classics of American literature (which he would usually do drunk) he partied with other famous authors, like F. Scott Fitzgerald and James Joyce.

Beer, Boobs, and Guns = the Right Thing To Do

Hemingway liked to party, and party hard. He once killed a polar bear using a broken beer bottle and pure malice. He lived by the rules of the road:

1. Choose your words carefully.

2. Grow a beard

3. Party.

4. Party Hard.

Hemingway would often wake in the morning to discover that after he'd passed out James Joyce had drawn dicks all over him with a magic marker. James Joyce then high-fived F. Scott Fitzgerald (who was high off his tits on cough medicine all the time).

"Heh heh. Dicks. Holy fuck I'm high as shit."

Death vs. Hemingway, the Final Fist Fight

When two world wars and a life of excessive drinking and hunting can't kill you, it's time to take matters into your own hands.

Hemingway died because he was paranoid that other people would drag their nuts all over his lips, so he shot his head off.

The End.