You're up to bat in baseball and all of a sudden you have a pitch thrust into your love cushion. Instead of falling to a ball of pain, you yell like an orgasming rhino and find you're harder than a necrophilic mortician. Welcome to masochism.

Now imagine that girl head to toe in leather and that's basically it.

Under that tux, he's sporting the biggest stiffy you'll ever see on a puppet.

Just The Facts

  1. Masochism is popularized by sexual masochism which is featured in 45% of all porn websites
  2. For the love of God, do not search it on Google Images with the safe search off

The Early Beginning

Masochism seemed to all begin with one man, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. As a child he was obsessed with tragedy and loved to look at pictures of executions. When he was ten, he would assist Countess Xenobia dress. On one occasion, as he was kneeling before her to put on her slippers, he kissed her feet; she smiled and gave him a kick which he aparantly enjoyed. As he went into puberty, he often had dreams of powerful women who tortured him. I would love to see the face of the guidance counselor he told that to.

Like most people who had disgusting, sickening childhoods, Leopold became a world famous writer. He still had his masochism so at the height of his fame, he signed a contract with his baroness, Fanny Pistor (he he he, Fanny), making him his slave for six months through the understanding that Pistor would wear furs as often as possible. Leopold took the alias, Gregor, which he apparently thought sounded more slave-y, and took on the roll as the baroness's servant. They moved to Italy and on the train ride Gregor sat in third class while the baroness sat in first. One can only assume what they did in private.

From the Russian Writer to You

Masochism is now defined as a mental state by psychologists. It has been a topic of discussion throughout psychologists for years on how masochistic tendencies actually start. It is truly a fascinating subject.

"What?.. Oh, right. Yeah, its intriguing all right."

"What?...Oh yeah, ahem, intriguing."

For more information, visit your local brothel.