The 1980s
The 1980s were a horrifying decade when snorting cocaine was an Olympic sport and wearing skinny ties and pastel jackets was a requirement at most dining establishments. Also Duran Duran was huge. HUGE! And the horrible decisions didn't end there.
Just The Facts
- The Taliban were our friends.
- Smoking in hospitals was still allowed.
- George W. Bush was a total fuck up.
The Trends
Synthpop
At some point during the 1980's, it was decided that shredding the guitar was for assholes. Anyone hoping to make music that really mattered needed to learn to rock the synthesizer. With this miracle machine, anyone who could play a few chords on the keyboard had all the skill sets needed to crank out music that wouldn't sound completely ridiculous and dated for at least another three to four years.
Unless you were Prince, who somehow managed to make the synthesizer sound timeless and awesome.
Bright Colors
You see that picture up there? Print it, save it to your hard drive, whatever. 50 years from now, show it to your grandkids and tell them that those two studs were on a television show together. Ask them what they think that show was about. If they say anything even kind of related to crime or police officers...kill them on the spot. They are time traveling cyborgs from the 80s.
Makeup
The 1980s, when the men were men, the women were women, and men and women both looked like trashy street whores.
I Want My MTV
MTV, which once upon a time actually did mean Music Television, launched on August 1, 1981. The revolutionary format was dedicated solely to playing music videos with the occasional interruption by one of the many on air VJ's. So, it was like a radio station you could see, which was a wonderful thing until a Rod Stewart video came on.
The network kicked things off by playing "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles. They played their final music video fifteen minutes later and have been showing reruns of the Real World Road Rules Challenge on an infinite loop ever since.
Entertainment
Important Albums
L-R: Bruce Springsteen Born In the USA, REM Murmur, Prince Purple Rain, N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton
Important Movies
L-R: E.T., Raiders of the Lost Ark, Sixteen Candles, Batman
Good things about the 1980s: Iron Maiden, Metallica, Megadeth.
ReplySome gems, some schlock, in the media and music, this was the 80s to me. Disco reborn in a new mutation called `dance music'. I was 19 in 1980 a good age to experience this decade. Concerts at reasonable prices too, I might add, Mini crash of `87, and a very sad event for Canada Ecole Polytechnique killings in Dec of `89, p.c came into the fore, went from something droll to what we have today, a scourge that should be the common enemy of all man.
ReplyApparently "Even Worse" by Weird Al is not deserving of this article.
ReplyAnd Straight Outta Compton is.
If there's only one good thing to come out of the '80s, it's the NES, suckas! Sure, Nintendo blows balls now, but back then, they were still "playing with power".
Replyf**k you m**********r who got raped by Shigeru Miyamoto f**k
*trollface
Actually, nuclear power is not renewable. Technically, no power is.
ReplyGood premise, but poor execution.
Reply"Rock Music has not evolved since."
Reply Hide All See All 8 RepliesWow, I don't know where you were for that decade called the 90s...
That doesn't count as rock. There was some great punk, some great electronica, some great folk. But there wasn't a whole lot of good rock. Pretty much Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana.
Grunge is a kind of rock.
Somehow the 80's begat grunge, which begat Nickelback, so the 80's are still f u c king us over. I guess the 80's also gave us Slash, and the Empire Strikes Back, so I'm not holding a grudge.
Mostly just hanging out, watching all that music not evolving. There was some noise. They called it grunge. Like a carnival goldfish, it died fast and forever. Then there was Emo, but nobody cared. The wannabe emo kids would probably want it that way. I understand that you're desperately clinging to a lost decade. We get it. You probably still get that Vanilla Ice haircut and have a pair of Hammer Pants in the closet, desperately waiting for the moment when they come back in style. They won't, but you keep that dream alive. Someday you'll be rolling again, in your 5.0 with the top pulled down so your goofy-ass Vanilla Ice hair can blow. Someday...
Dragonforce was pretty good, they brought the guitar to a level that cannot be matched.
I beat Dragonforce with my dick on a daily basis. Literally. And my dick plays better guitar too. But that's not too hard.
Thiefenz, you know nothing about guitar.
NOTHING.
@ veryfundong
Your username makes sense now. My dick plays bass, and my ass plays drums, so it's time to start an all-not socially acceptable version of Nirvana
Needs more political angst
ReplyYou nailed the part about MTV f*****g up music, but the Reagan bashing
Reply Hide All See All 9 Repliesruined it. Only reason your ass is still here and not just radioactive dust is because Reagan brought about the collapse of the Soviet empire. Barney Frank is the jackass who engineered the no down payments for assholes fiasco.
Ummm, Regan didn't bring about the collapse of the Soviet Empire. The Soviets did that. And Regan gave us trickle down economics, which to this day is kicking our asses.
Yeah, I'm in agreement with the deadrat up there.
Everything needs to die.
That would certainly solve the economics problems McGee but I think that would make the environmental problems much worse.
No matter how many times I hear the "Reagan won the Cold War" statement it still annoys me.
Reagan did as much good for America as George Bush Jr. Which is nothing. Afghanistan was a reaction, changing mortgage agreements post-signing, and invading a country that did nothing to America was all Bush. Reagan okayed the Iran Contra Scandal, continued a war on drugs that was obviously losing, and staved off a depression by ensuring recession for the children of America.
You sir are an idiot. And not only a garden variety one but a giant, born from a goat that lived it's life in the shadow of Chernobyl kind of idiot.
To be even more pedantic, the Soviet Union's war in Afghanistan is widely thought to have been one of the most significant factors which led to its demise. You know, because they threw loads of cash into an unwinnable war in Afghanistan. Good thing the United States learned from that mistake, and so has been prosperous to this day.
Oh yeah, Reagan was a f u c king hero. I forgot about the time he single-handedly saved the world from nuclear war.
This "no down payments for assholes" statement is OVERSIMPLIFYING it a bit. There are high rises full of million dollar condos standing empty in Las Vegas and Miami that are equally a part of this housing bubble, and they weren't bought by poor people who couldn't afford a house. My own neighborhood is devastated, and trust me, we aren't the "CRA babies" of your fantasy. I blame it on Osama Bin Laden, without whom the near-zero interest rates that fueled this fiasco wouldn't have been possible. Save the tea-baggery for elsewhere.
This article f*****g sucks
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesAnd I agree.
i also agree, :( .
I disagree :)
Wow, why are not known across the world?! I thought I had to pay millions, possibly billions to find information like this. I'm simply amazed at the intelligence of this comment. I must submit you too a university, no presidential position.
*troll
WOW, this dizzy dame really thought the stones "dominated" in '81? try a solid decade earlier, and dont ever compare the stones to springstien or tull. you dont have to be a deceitful cow just because the rolling stones kicks the s**t out of the pixies and indigo girls and it hurts you to come to terms with that.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesLook. It's not '69 anymore. You didn't change the world for better. You didn't have awesome children. Also, the Pixies are far better than the Rolling Stones. If not just because they've done less drugs.
Which is why the stones still tour and paved the way for tons of bands today and the pixies are nowhere to be found. Also the stones started in the 50s not the 60s and drugs produced some of the most legendary music ever written. To compare the pixies to the stones is so idiotic and ridiculous its comedic. Your basis for them being better is because they did less drugs? So doing heroin 3 times a week is better then doing it 5 times a week? Your just angry that no one gives a s**t about them and forgot they existed 20 years ago. People in 69 did a lot more to change the world then you ever did i can be sure of that. There is a reason the stones still kick ass its because they are fantastic performers. So maybe stop trying to be an ironic detached rebel who hates anything popular and you might start liking good music.
for the record, the Stones blow. Case in point that's already been made on this site: Jimi Hendrix was at the top of his career and produced how many hits in the basically 3 years he was big? The Beatles produced how much music in their 10 year run? And the only memorable song the Stones can produce in damn near 60 years of making music is SYmpathy for the Devil. f**k the Stones.
You guys REALLY made some far reaches on your charts, didn't you? That was an awful article. I guess the 80's also gave birth to a generation of people who blame anyone else for their own stupid choices? Regan made all those dumbasses buy houses they couldn't afford? Drug dealers made people smoke crack? People were forced to like Hungry Like the Wolf? C'mon Cracked, you can do alot better.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesReagan didn't MAKE anyone buy a house directly, he just made it easier for a person to do so without thinking about if they could seriously afford it.
Also, what makes you so sure that the person who wrote this article is part of the generation born in the 80's? Perhaps the author was someone who was actually alive and aware at the time.
Your so right Katie5000 its all the Reagans fault like its the spoons fault for making Rosie O'Donnell fat, and your moms fault for making this world a little dumber by not swallowing you instead. Thats it Im going to blame your mom for everything!!
Ummmm. I never saw Katie blame Reagan.. I just saw her make a legitimate point. It looks like your mom didn't love you enough Kelley
reaganomoics did do it's part in giving us shaky foundations to build an economy on, you can't deny that
It's not blaming reagan or drug dealers...at all. It's blaming the 80's.
WE live in a capitalist society if it's legal and cheaper people are going to do it. The purpose of government regulations is the same purpose of parents to ensure the correct choice is made despite it being worse in the short run (eg go to school, don't build the country's economy on a house of cards, etc).
I saw an chart/article that showed how the '80's are still having an important impact.
What would have made the world a better place if they didn't happen?
Well, Reagan shouldn't have given birth to Reagan-omics and your mother shouldn't have given birth to you.
How did nobody mention the fact that Rick Astely's, "Never Gonna Give You Up" came out in the 80's, and now I ask you, does the term "rick roll'd" mean anything to you?
ReplyDURRRR NOPE
I iz lawls @ meme !!2!
f**k the 1980's. The only decade that EVER mattered was the 1990's. After 2003 the went world went on Mach 5 plunge straight to hell and hasn't stopped since.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Replies-68' doesn't mean anything to you? The arguably greatest year in music history.
Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd. Those guys are just litter material? Retard.
the 60s-2003 had the best music in history, i think. everything else now is just crap or lacking
The 60s I respect, the 90s I find great, but mainly stuff like Fatboy Slim or The Chemical Brothers.
What happened in 2003 that made the world a hole now? I'd ask if your mom gave birth to you but frankly a seven year old would have better grammar than you.
The 1990's certainly had some musical importance in combatting against the massive music void that was the early '90's. But that was really the fault of the music industry. The 1980's was far edgier, far larger in choice, and far more divisive in nature than the 1990's ever was. Outside of the evolution of electronica which would have never been as good if it wasn't for earlier 1980's bands the music scene was almost a cultural wasteland in the 1990's.
Frankly, you simply are upset that you were born in the wrong decade. Face it. It's your mom's fault for not discovering birth control earlier.
"The Dave Matthews Band replaced Jethro Tull"? I Internet-slap you, sir.
ReplyWow, blaming Reagan for the current housing crisis and not the democratic idiots in control of the house that made this crisis possible. Right out of O'bummers playbook. Blame ANYONE but the people responsible. Predictable as ever.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesOh my God, you actually used the term "O'bummer"! That's f*****g fantastic!
Until now, I thought that was just a term made up to make fun of overreactionary right-wing idiots. But here you are, using it legitimately, as if it's not the stupidest thing anyone has ever said. Now all we need is a jackass from the other side coming on here to say that George Bush ate babies or something and we'll have filled our cliche partisan retard quota.
GEORGE W. BUSH is A reTarDED BAby EAtiNG HICK AND f**k alL of YOU RACcisst m***********g cloSetEd BasTARds Hail COMMUNISM HAIL CHAIRMAN MAO god Bless CALIfornIA LEGALIZEMARIJUANALEGALIZEMARIJUANALEGALIZEMARIJUANALEGALIZEMIRAJUANALEGALIZEMARIJUANALEGALIZEMARIJUANALEGALIZEMARIJUANALEGALIZEMARIJUANA
How can anyone be so short-sighted and so forgetful as America? Of course our previous Presidents have made decisions that are still affecting us to this day; not every past President is suddenly cleared of responsibility just because they aren't actually IN office anymore [maybe one day we'll hold Bush(es) accountable].
Actually, it's a combination of factors that were responsible. Certainly, people should have known what they could and couldn't afford. Also, the banks should have been making sure they didn't lend money to people who might not be able to pay it back.
But, putting bundles of mortgages into derivatives effectively absolved every bank of individual responsibility for a particular mortgage. So there was an enormous incentive to loan as much money as possible, regardless of the borrower's ability to pay it back.
I don't think Reagan by himself caused the housing crisis, but I do believe everyone in the chain. I think the chain perhaps started with Reagan, but continued through the Congresses that didn't require checks and balances, through the banks and lenders who lent to anyone with a pulse, and ended with the individuals signing on the dotted line.
If it didn't happen in the past year than it didn't happen at all!
s**t on Reagan's grave. He deserves it.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesDo you have some sort of cognitive disability? Reagan was the last president that managed to boost this country's economy. Then came the Obama, the Bushes and Clinton who managed to destroy the economy and pave the way for the recession (Clinton) and spend more money than previous presidents could manage while we were in a recession (Bush and Obama). The ignorance in this country to economic policy and politics astounds me sometimes.
Or, flip off the statue of him in the Capitol building at midnight... I found that much easier
...You mean the same Clinton who gave us the first surplus in decades? Alright, who's been shooting at the cardiff rift again? I warned you things would keep crossing over!
Clinton actually did quite good for the American economy and the economy of the world. If it wasn't for people thinking the world was going to end in 2000 then the resulting crash of the tech bubble probably wouldn't have been as bad. But then you'd have thought that George Bush would have learned from the tech bubble and Reagan and not allowed the housing market crash to have occurred. But then I forget, Bush is the guy who went with Mission Accomplished more than four years before catching the guy they started the war over.
Are you sure you aren't from a different reality? One where idiots aren't filtered out of normal society?
Um the bands you mentioned are horrible bands that no one useful listens to.
Reply Hide All See All 13 RepliesNice to save the most obvious monstrosity for last... COPS and reality TV = suicide.
Was Video Killed the Radio Star really the first video ever played? Doesn't make much since; impossible to make a perceived-accurate song about that before MTV ever even existed...
oh and don't forget that MTV has re-existed since last year, and that VH1 existed long after the death of MTV, and also re-exists now - with the metal and rock even that Fuse discarded because they are retards. And oh yeah, Fuse.
Um, the bands they mentioned were the popular ones at the time who were known for writing songs people actually cared about. And no one useful would ever insult somebody for listening to a specific type of music.
Video Killed The Radio Star (you capitalize every word in the title of a song, you don't leave out words like "the" or "and") actually came on the radio before MTV ever aired. They were talking about movies and the fact that entertainment used to be on the radio before TV... not about music.
You may want to learn some things before you insult others. As it is you come off like a 13 year old... which you might be.
Wait, you're supposed to capitalize every word in a song title? Where did this rule come from? I've checked the Chicago Manual of Style, the Turabian book, and all of the usual suspects online and can't find it anywhere. I'm definitely not saying you're wrong, but if you could send a reference our way that would be awesome.
lol, "I've looked in the manual of style, and the Turbian book, but I'm not saying you're wrong..." No, song titles are not capitalized differently from ever other type of media (reference = every single grade and semester of English, 3rd - 11th... yes I actually had this in 11th grade since there some disabled kids in my class) and the 19 different teachers from three different schools, as well as the textbooks for each grade, that go with it), however, many CDs have their songs printed otherwise (but many CDs also do it correctly).
I have not insulted anyone, but that does not change the fact hat the bands mentioned are not even remotely interesting. Rolling Stones? lol!! Yeah sure they sold well, but how many people do you hear of who actually find them interesting??!? In order to list bands of the time that are "still relevant today" (yeah, my scroll is slow, I don't feel like scrolling up for a third time to get an exact quote), you have to actually cite bands that are STILL FAMOUS AND RELEVANT TODAY. Say, MC Hammer, Richard Marx, Bon Jovi or even Fresh Prince (Will Smith). Unlike the Rolling Stones people actually listen to these lol.
You may want to learn some things before you attempt to correct or insult others. ...Such as how 13-year-olds actually post (this is 2010, none of them can spell or type correctly). As it is you come off like an ignorant douchebag.
Is this post formatted 100% grammatically correctly? OF COURSE NOT, THIS IS THE f*****g INTERNET.
i only have one question about the band relevance thing... who in the f**k still listens to MC Hammer and Richard Marx????? is that your idea of relevant bands from the 80's who still matter today?? right, screw Metallica, who by the way sold out almost 20 consecutive dates in Australia, Richard Marx is all that kids listen to while they wear their large baggy hammerstyle pants...LOL you people crack me up...
Hey, I love the Stones, dude. All music after the 60s-70s sucks.
Agree. With the Stones part at least. There's good music everywhere. Just less today, but it's still there.
Bruce Springsteen is and has always been awesome. I am aware that this comment will be derisively received. It is nevertheless true. That is all.
I listen to the Stones. And I'm 15. There's definitely good music today, it's just hard to find.
MC Hammer is more popular at the present than the Stones? LOL, I'm pretty sure more people listen to the Stones.
the stones are only embarrassing and irrelevent now because they carried on going long after they were past their prime. the music they played at the time was hugely influential.
oh, and I like springsteen, and REM. i do not, on the other hand, listen to MC hammer or richard marx, nor do i know anyone who does on a regular basis
wow seriouslu STFU no one cares
You forgot that MuchMusic supported the music industry through the 90's and was bigger in the States than MTV itself. And that The Buggles' Video Killed The Radio Star was the first video played on MTV, not the first ever played.
Dumb ass.
Oh fuck. Your a robot sent from the '80's to kill us all. Aren't you?
I agree that there were a lot of bad things about the '80s. However, there were some good things. Too bad Shia LaBeouf is destroying them all. Seriously, I hear he's planning an ALF/Teddy Ruxpin gritty reboot/crossover flick. Nancy Reagan just signed on as his love interest.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesShia LaBeouf ruined your toy commercial, boo-hoo, and as for Indiana Jones you can blame that on George Lucas.
Well, he's also ruining Wall Street.
But George Lucas created Indiana Jones. So can we really thank him for Indy and hate him for it at the same time? 'Cause I'd feel all conflicted and s**t and perhaps would end up creating a gritty reboot where ALF eats a Teddy's cat and Teddy starts to like molest ALF's family or something.
Also, ALF was a show and Teddy was a toy. Neither of them were technically a toy commercial although both starred in them.
Isn't edumacation a good thing?
Also...fuck Shia LaBeouf. He's lame and can't act. In fact, the next Transformers film will be twice as good as any previous one purely because it's removed one of two super-shitty actors. (It may only be 30% better though because Megan does a good b***h and Shia doesn't do anything well.)
Eh, I liked 80s music and bright colors. That doesn't make you wrong, though.
Replyi like 80s music and bright colours, but im not PROUD of liking them :) nobody claims a-ha were that good, but everyone enjoys their songs