Hobbits

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Hobbits. See the difference?

I can't find one picture of these guys where they aren't looking epic.

Just The Facts

  1. Hobbits are an imaginary race made by J.R.R Tolkein.
  2. Hobbits live in the Shire, and are better then midgets because they kill stuff.
  3. An examble of a famous hobbit is Frodo Baggins, and his homosexual partner Samwise.

Hobbits and you: A guide to your new best friend.

Hobbits are like midgets, but instead of stubby little legs and adorable arms they're perfect replicas of people, just smaller. They were created by J.R.R Tolkien in his book The Hobbit, which was a prelude to the popular Lord of the Rings series. They're called 'halflings' in the imaginary realm of Middle-Earth, and people who play Dungeons and Dragons.

Not to be confused with the band, The Hobbits.

What to do if you're fighting a Hobbit.

If you somehow find yourself in a situation where you need/want to fight a Hobbit urgently, don't worry, Cracked is here for you.

Step one: Look closely at your enemy. Is it a hobbit, or just a regular old midget? If it is a midget, then you're wasting your time here.

Step two: Having confirmed that you are, indeed, fighting a Hobbit, make sure it is not armed with a blade, bow, or quasi-magical ring. If they are, your chances of survival have deeply narrowed.

Step three: If a Hobbit attempts to attack you, then simply use the age-old technique of holding them away while they try and reach you. Falling down in laughter is not recommended, as they might take advantage and kick you with their tiny feet.