Eurovision

The Eurovision song contest pits the musical elite of Europe against each other in a no holds barred extravaganza.

Effeminate shirtless men, sexually intimidating women, spandex and glitter: All the ingredients for a Eurovision hit
Effeminate shirtless men, sexually intimidating women, spandex and glitter: All the ingredients for a Eurovision hit

Just The Facts

  1. The Eurovision song contest features the greatest gathering of open shirted men outside of New Jersey
  2. If all of the glitter used in the event was spread around the world, it would cover the planet to a depth of 2 really really gay feet.
  3. The two types of Eurovision song are a) tacky and b) horrifyingly tacky. They are to music what Michael Bay films are to cinema.

The Contest

While some critics have derided the contest for its kitsch, and its 'bubblegum pop sound, others point to the fact that the contest has launched many musical careers, with winners cracking number 1 hits in the notoriously difficult markets of Azerbaijan and Moldova. Fans of Eurovision point out that while winners do not often go onto greater success outside Europe, the 1974 winners, ABBA, managed to garner worldwide stardom. Critics of Eurovision point out that the contest launched the career of ABBA.
Oh, so it's not all bad
Oh, so its not all bad
The most recent Eurovision was won by what appears to be the Norweigan answer to Zac Ephron, and the event served as a stark wake up call to all the college students who went on exchange hoping to experience the rich culture and art of Europe.
Norway's Zac Ephron was later disqualified for using Eyebrow enhancing drugs
Norways Zac Ephron was later disqualified for using Eyebrow enhancing drugs
The eurovision contest itself is an event that can be celebrated with friends, family and even members of the general public. Get together at a bar to cheer on the country of your great grandfathers birth, or put together a fantasy draft for the best placing nations (try to leave the Eastern Bloc to the later rounds).
America, meet your cultural better
America, meet your cultural better