Kathy Griffin

Kathy Griffin is a natural beauty, a brilliant actress and an extremely kind and generous philanthropist.

Just The Facts

  1. Meryl Streep considers Kathy to be the greatest actress of our time.
  2. Kathy sites a healthy diet, exercise and good genes for her all-natural beauty.
  3. In 2008 Kathy donated millions of dollars to charities throughout the world.

Kathy makes Mother Teresa look like a truck stop whore

Kathy was raised in Oak Park, Illinois-a town known for its high poverty level and poor resources. While attending Oak Park/River Forest High School Kathy was cast as the lead in every school play, was elected Homecoming and Prom Queen and was voted Most Likely To Be Fabulous. She volunteered at countless nursing homes and mental institutions gladly doing the dirtiest of tasks such as wiping bottoms and cleaning up puke. After winning a full scholarship to Julliard, Kathy went on to star with such artistic giants as Brooke Shields and Mr. T. But her greatest role was in a non-speaking voice part in The Simpsons. Kathy is known for her kindness toward all people especially other celebrities. She makes numerous public appearances for charities, turning down huge sums of money and instead donates most of her money to worthy causes. She lives in a modest condominium in Scranton, Pennsylvania with her partner Chaz Bono. In her spare time she works in a lab researching a cure for cancer. Because of her goodwill Pope Benedict recently announced that Kathy will be canonized a saint before she dies-a first in the 2000 plus years of the Catholic Church. In 2007 Kathy adopted 27 orphans from Iraq and founded a wildlife refuge in Southern California. There is seemingly no end to her benevolence.


Wait, all of that is a lie. She's actually quite a dick.