Big Trouble In Little China

Big Trouble In Little China - a film where a trucker somehow manages to find himself battling unlikely horrors in various Mortal Kombat arenas.

Just The Facts

  1. Directed by John Carpenter, at the peak of his now less than mediocre career
  2. Is a film made up of simply one awesome scene followed by another
  3. Includes maybe Kurt Russell's greatest performances as well as what could be the finest mullet to ever come out of the 80s. Sorry McGuyver

Cracked on Big Trouble in Little China

Big Trouble In Little China can be accurately described as a fantasy adventure, but it is so much more than that. It is also a film noir, if film noirs were characterised not only by a morally ambiguous protagonist, a gritty urban setting and violence, but also mythology, magic and a series of ancient tunnels beneath the city of San Francisco.


The film pays homage to the average guy, in an era (the 80s) when "average" in a movie usually meant the director was a dangerous Communist. Meet Jack Burton (all good movies start with a protagonist named "Jack"), an all American Joe (or Jack - whatever) who is happy with his place in the world as a trucker who trucks and who likes to wise-crack (this being the 80s, any hero worth their salt wise-cracked because of, you know, cocaine). Through pluck and ingenuity, he manages to survive a series of events that would leave most of us chewing our arms of in fear and insurmountable bemusement. And also because everyone in China Town is only average at best at Kung Fu. But why not? This film does not cater to cheap racial stereotypes.

i said

No no. Doesn't cater to - oh fuck it

With only a mullet, a very very desirable vest (see John Mclaine), the kind of gun that you're equipped with only during the very earliest stages in a video game, a bunch of dudes and a Kim Cattrall sans boobs, Jack Burton fights for what he truly believes in - his goddamned truck.

We'd hit it