The Leprechaun is not the homicidal lucky charm stealing bearded badass he is portrayed as. If Wikipedia is right, the Leprechaun is a type of fairy, usually taking the form of an old man, clad in a green coat, who enjoys partaking in mischief.

How pimps used to dress in Ireland

He kept asking me to rub his shillelagh, it was a little uncomfortable

Well now we know where they got the fairy part from.

Just The Facts

  1. You catch a leprechaun and he'll make it rain
  2. If a leprechaun asks you to rub his shillelagh, don't.
  3. Leprechauns work as shoe makers, who knew?

An Interview with a Leprechaun

MS: Hello Mr.......

LP: Call me Lucky laddy, everyone does.

MS: Okay Lucky, I called together this interview to give everyone a real in-depth look into the Leprechaun.

Lucky: Aye, I'd be happy to oblige.

MS: First off, I want to clear up a vicious rumor, they say leprechauns are fairies and that is simply not..

Lucky: Yes, I'm a fairy.

MS: Say what? *Lucky crosses his legs*

Lucky: Yes laddy, I prefer the taste of a Shillelagh.

MS: Oh god.

Lucky: Yes, the first time I had been touched by another m..

MS: I don't wanna know.

Lucky: But you called me here laddy, to talk about fairies.

MS: Jesus, I thought it was a lie.

Lucky: It's the truth laddy. Now where was I, ah yes, the type of shillelagh is that of a young bo-

MS: This interview is over.

An Interview with a Leprechaun #2

MS: Welcome Mr.....

LP: Leprechaun.

MS: Umm, okay. Tell us about yourself.

LP: Some fucker stole my gold, locked me in a crate, and I couldn't get out because, get this, he put a fucking four leaf clover on it which apparently, turns me into pussy. Then the fucker tries to INCINERATE me but his little punk ass has a stroke. I got the last laugh though, I killed his wife, he dies, and a few years later, some dumbass lets me out.

MS: Wow, thats quite a story.

LP: Hell, thats not even the half of it, I've been to the hood, back to it, and FUCKING SPACE.

MS: Simply awesome. You are the complete opposite of Lucky man, you are one badass motherfucker.

LP: *LP's expression changes* Lucky was here?

MS: Yeah but he left a while ago.


MS: Leprechaun? are you okay?

LP: Lucky....No man has ever made love to me so tenderly as he.

MS: Oh god.

LP: Yes, he undressed me and--

MS: We're done here.