In And Out Burger

In and Out Burger only has about six items on it's menu (hamburger, cheeseburger, Double Double, fries, soda, shake), but it also has a secret menu. A menu so mind-bogglingly classified that the only possible place to hide it is... on the company's official website. Most of the items on this menu look like they were created by someone with way too much time on their hands, and have only ever been ordered for the novelty.

The next time you find yourself at an In and Out Burger, you might not find these items on the official menu, but give the guy at the register a wink and nod (because they never get sick of that), and you could walk away with...

The X by Y Burger

You can have two slices of meat and one slice of cheese, you can have six slices of meat and six slices of cheese, you can even have 100 slices of meat and collapse to the floor! While the official In and Out policy is not to exceed a 4 by 4, you can find some locations that will do more than that.

Animal Fries

Despite looking like a smelly pile of vomit, Animal Fries are arguably the most famous item of the secret menu, and have been described as tasting "totally delicious, dude." They are made by layering cheese, diced onions and thousand island dressing on top of french fries, then praying that the customer will eat them without looking at it for too long.

Protein Style Burger

A regular hamburger, with lettuce instead of a bun! This burger was originally designed for people on the Atkins diet, and for that alone it is stupid.

The Flying Dutchman

This burger, which really has nothing to do with sailing, is served without vegetables or a bun. It's like somebody went out of their way to make the above item more stupid.

The Wish Burger

(the one in the back left corner)

Have you ever ordered a hamburger, only to find that those fuckers behind the counter put meat in it again? Well with In and Out's Wish Burger (sometimes called a veggie burger), that's a thing of the past! Order one of these, and all you'll be served is a bun, stuffed with tomato and lettuce.

The Big Mac

This up and coming In and Out secret menu item is made with two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce... actually, we're pretty sure there was some mistake here.

In and Out Burger is the most culturally significant burger joint in the history of fast food. Seriously. In and Out is what happens when the MacArthur Foundation gives Quentin Tarantino a genius grant to design a restaurant. Except that In and Out Burger is better, because Quentin Tarantino is a filmmaker and that would be dumb.

• A poll by Esquire magazine recently rated In and Out Burger the number one fast food place, which means that some of the world's classiest, most successful men are stoners with the midnight munchies.
• The Double Double, In and Out Burger's signature double hamburger, is frequently lauded by "commedian" Tucker Max in his "book" I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. This is believed to be the only thing in existance that any decent person can agree with Tucker Max on.
• The paper products used at In and Out Burger have citations for various Bible quotes printed on them. It is speculated that this is done to offset the bad karma of serving highly fattening foods to drug users.

It's like having an Easter egg hunt built into your fast food!

• In and Out Burger is referenced in the movie The Big Lebowski. It is not a conincidence that the movie's main character is a jobless bum who smokes more pot than the whole Marley family combined.
• Most In and Out Burger plots are decorated with two palm trees that cross to form an "X." This is both a reference to founder Harry Snyder's favorite movie, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, and a convient marker for paramedics who need to be flown in to treat customers who ate one too many helpings of animal fries.

X marks the triple bypass.

• The creators of In and Out Burger pretty much invented the freaking drive-thru. They were the first place in California to use two way radios and a drive up window for ordering and receiving food. Despite this virtual hand-job to obesity, they're one of the only fast food places to get a positive mention in Fast Food Nation.
• In and Out Burger has nothing to do with A Clockwork Orange.

Give her a bit of the the ole' in out, in out. Not like the burgers though. That'd be gross.