Patrick Swayze

(Actual pronunciation: "Nobody puts babyinnacor-ner")

OK it doesn't make a lick of sense, but let's see you do better when trying to impress a hot, blond doctor with a ponytail and a staple gun. Swayze was pulling a man out of a burning building without even a shirt, never mind any pussy protective gear (making him cooler than firefighters, the top female fantasy before Swayzification), catching a speeding motorbike on foot (cooler than: the T1000, which fell off the car it was chasing), kicking the pistol out of gunman's hand in the manner self-defense experts tell you is impossible (cooler than: every self-defense expert) and ripping a violent killer's goddamn throat out (cooler than: that pussy Dracula who only targets sleeping women). In the same fight his enemy gets his leg caught in a tree allowing Patrick to kick him in the balls, aka "Swayze is so badass Mother Nature herself helps him deliver epic nut-shots."

If a mortal man tried this with his girlfriend, that would be the end of the relationship. Swayze not only got away with it, he used one word to re-seduce 1990-version Demi Moore while in the body of Whoopi Goldberg. That's like making it to the Moon in 30 seconds using a shopping cart on a pile of wet sparklers.