Patrick Swayze

Some celebrities had horrific faults we only forgave after they died. Swayze didn't.

Just The Facts

  1. If you collected all the women who wanted him you could have founded a far sexier Swaziland.
  2. People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" in 1991.
  3. Many people's "Sexiest Man Alive" ever since.

"Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner"

(Actual pronunciation: "Nobody puts babyinnacor-ner")

Without question his most famous line. Imagine you had to say something that every woman in the world was going to remember and forever judge you by. Ready yet? Because Swayze was. He didn't need to think about it. Hell, he didn't even act, he said the line like he was ordering coffee secure in the knowledge he was about to disintegrate every panty in a 10 mile radius. By dancing at them.

A man so seductive that when he tells Jewish parents, "I want to make it with your daughter in public," the mother restrains the father saying, "I want to watch this!" A man with so much charisma that it acts as a dance-instructing forcefield for anyone within 20 meters, even if they're over 60 and spherical. A man so goddamn sexy he doesn't have to defuse the nuke or kill the terrorists to get the girl--for The Swayze, getting the girl IS the climax and you'll love him for it. But not as hard as she will.

"Pain Don't Hurt"

OK it doesn't make a lick of sense, but let's see you do better when trying to impress a hot, blond doctor with a ponytail and a staple gun. Swayze was pulling a man out of a burning building without even a shirt, never mind any pussy protective gear (making him cooler than firefighters, the top female fantasy before Swayzification), catching a speeding motorbike on foot (cooler than: the T1000, which fell off the car it was chasing), kicking the pistol out of gunman's hand in the manner self-defense experts tell you is impossible (cooler than: every self-defense expert) and ripping a violent killer's goddamn throat out (cooler than: that pussy Dracula who only targets sleeping women). In the same fight his enemy gets his leg caught in a tree allowing Patrick to kick him in the balls, aka "Swayze is so badass Mother Nature herself helps him deliver epic nut-shots."

"Ditto"

If a mortal man tried this with his girlfriend, that would be the end of the relationship. Swayze not only got away with it, he used one word to re-seduce 1990-version Demi Moore while in the body of Whoopi Goldberg. That's like making it to the Moon in 30 seconds using a shopping cart on a pile of wet sparklers.