Carmen Electra

How to get rich and famous with no talent whatsoever.

The Secret.

This would never work. Almost never.

But this always does. And its so smoking hot, we love our lives once again!!!

Just The Facts

  1. Tera Leigh Patrick is a porn actress, formerly known as Linda Ann Hopkins Shapiro. Thai-English. 36DD-24-34
  2. Carmen Electra is a stripper/actor/singer/prodigy, formerly known as Tara Leigh Patrick. Irish-German-Cherokee ancestry. 36C-23-35
  3. The Electra complex is the psychoanalytic theory that a female's psychosexual development involves a sexual attachment to her father.
  4. Carmen means 'garden'/'orchard' in Hebrew and 'song' in Latin.
  5. Carmen Electra is famous for none of the above reasons. But they're just the facts.

Tara Leigh Patrick transitions to Electra - The Singer

She always wanted to be famous. She met Prince. (See article Prince on why Prince was so awesome.) And she just had to sleep with him. Prince made her change her name because he thought she looked like a 'Carmen'. (whatever that means!)

Carmen Electra was her self-titled debut album. The music was as creative as its name. It sank like a lark falling suddenly to the earth. (See Albums That Sucked - Carmen Electra! Review of the album)

The album was so bad that even Prince with all his insane genius couldn't make her sell.

"Can I get a witness with this funk with the quickness?
Microphone swiftness is my business
Checkin' out the brothers with the funky stride
U don't wanna dance honey, drip step aside ............. "

Prince stepped aside.

Carmen Electra moved on to Phase 2 of her career.

Electra - The Stripper

She posed nude for the greatest magazine known to mankind; and then just to make sure that she did it right, she appeared four more times.

This act alone made her the collective fantasy of a zillion horny men.

"Certain people will look at Playboy to see the outer beauty. But you can't make it very long in this business with only that. You have to have something on the inside, which includes talent if you want a real career." - Carmen Electra

Which is why she has featured on Playboy multiple times with absolutely no career otherwise.

Meanwhile she also taught America how to strip. While doing it herself.

"With Aerobic Strip Tease, you can do it at home - it makes it easier for women that don't want to go to the gym." - Carmen Electra

It spawned a million ugly strippers in every home. She would be forgiven though.

Electra gets hitched

Case Rodman

Amongst the most beautiful celebrity marriages of all time. It ended within a week, with Rodman claiming that he wasn't in the right state of mind at the time. We wondered at the irony of what was conspiring and how unfair the universe is.

"My advice to anyone is to not get married in Vegas. Do not get married at the drive-thru in Vegas, especially. Take your time - enjoy it!" - Carmen Electra

Words of wisdom only experience can teach you, only after you get dumped after a Vegas marriage to the uncoolest basketball player ever.

Post Rodman

She found solace in a string of hot men until she ultimately landed up with Joan Jett. Another male fantasy nailed.

Electra - The Actor

I rest my case. For more information about Carmen Electra movies, see How to Make Jokeless Comedy: Studying the 'Epic Movie' Guys ... CRACKED Reviews: Scary Movie 4, Meet the Spartans: Something Must be Done., etc.

But not before I let Baywatch fill our senses. (Baywatch needs its own exit page at this point.)

"If you think about it now, it's kind of ridiculous. All these hot girls on Baywatch in tiny little red bathing suits running around saving lives." - Carmen Electra

Another male fantasy nailed.

Quote Unquote

"I never had my own name on a bathing suit on Baywatch. I was always given one that said Pamela or Yasmine. I earned my own suit, at the end of the season, which I now have framed." - Carmen Electra

It was Carmen Electra's greatest achievement. Ever. Its why the world loved her.

"Other people's perspective, just seeing the sexy image, might be that I take my sexuality very seriously. But I really don't. I like being sexy. It's fun, and I have had a nice little career off it." - Carmen Electra

I've been trying to say the same thing for 3 long paragraphs. I think.

I just end this with some hot pictures. Isn't that all that really matters?