Ben Stiller

Benjamin Edward is an American actor, director and humorist who changed his name to a more effeminate Ben Stiller, in an attempt to not get laid. This is the nomenclature equivalent of taking a rusty blade and sawing your ding dongs off.

What Maxie Applebum might look like.

Just The Facts

  1. Ben Stiller is 5'7"
  2. That's almost the size of the Oompa Loompas from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
  3. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are not going out.
  4. They are just friends.
  5. No. Seriously.

Cracked on Ben Stiller

Ben Stiller is the son of veteran comedians Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara. This probably means when most kids at his age were learning a-b-c-d, Ben Stiller was learning knock-knock jokes; his name wasn't the only reason he got wedgied in school. Ben Stiller made his debut with Reality Bites. If you haven't heard of it, its OK. No one has. Later on he also started acting. At some point he also joined the comedic-acting brotherhood called the Frat Pack, which is not to be confused with the Will-Farrell-Vince-Vaughn friend circle which is known as the Fat Pack.

In 1998, Ben Stiller postponed his directorial ambitions to star in 'There's Something About Mary'; a movie where he got his dong stuck in his pant's zippers, thereby earning the sympathy of men all over the world (Prince excluded). The movie was an instant hit. Following its success Ben Stiller went on to make tons of other movies that included Zoolander, Meet the Parents, Tropic Thunder and a number of other great movies I am too lazy to type the names of.

Ben Stiller and Sarah Jessica Parker on the sets of Tropic Thunder

Ben Stiller and Sarah Jessica Parker on the sets of Tropic Thunder

Ben Stiller has written, acted, directed and/or produced over 50 movies or TV shows that has grossed over $2.1 billion. Ben Stiller is married to Christine Taylor, although everyone knows about Owen Wilson. He has a couple of kids. He is a supporter of the democratic party and is associated with numerous charities.

In his free time, Ben Stiller likes to stare at the mirror and pout.

Fishing Trips and Owen Wilson

In Frat Pack, Ben Stiller met Owen Wilson. Ben Stiller invited Owen Wilson for Zoolander, and Wilson returned the favor by inviting Ben Stiller to some crappy movie you haven't heard the name of. And, their friendship thrived.

In order to find out more about the relationship between Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, the author carried out a quantitative survey by trying to remember a number of Ben Stiller movies, and whether or not Owen Wilson was present in them. According to the survey it was seen that 95% of the Ben Stiller movies had Owen Wilson in it. The bottom line is wherever there is Ben Stiller, there is Owen Wilson.

We are not suggesting anything.

We wish Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson all the best, and hope that their.. erm..friendship grows with time, as they keep giving us one good movie after another.

Ben Stiller Movies

Meet The Parents: In this movie Ben Stiller plays the role of an insecure loser. His character is that of a male nurse called Gaylord Focker, a name more appropriate for Hugh Grant in Notting Hill.

So, Gaylord Focker, aka Ben Stiller is dating some chick but is too scared to ask her to marry him. Instead of watching Die Hard to regain some testosterone, he goes on a holiday to meet her parents. The chick's father is Robert De Niro, who is an ex CIA agent. He instantly hates Ben Stiller, puts him on a lie detector and asks him whether he watches porn.

It could have been worse. He could have asked him whether he watches dwarf porn.

Anyways, shit happens. Owen Wilson shows up for a while, and makes a gay looking altar or something. Ben Stiller sets it on fire by accident. More shit happens. And in the end, Ben Stiller grows the gonads to ask Robert De Niro for marriage... with his daughter . And they live happily ever after... until Meet the Fockers is released and it sodomizes all the characters.

Night At The Museum: Ben Stiller plays the role of an insecure loser. He works in a museum. Only, after midnight everything comes into life in that museum, kinda like in Vegas. There is a miniature version of Owen Wilson in the movie, and there is a giant dinosaur. Ben Stiller plays with the dinosaur's bone.

As the movie continues Ben Stiller gets chased by Chengiz Khan, tigers, lions and a mammoth elephant which may or may not have been played by Queen Latifa. The museum gets back to life because of some tablet. Some people try to steal it. Ben Stiller stops them.

Zoolander: Ben Stiller plays the role of an insecure loser. He does modelling and shit.

Conlusion

Lets face it. Despite his name and typical movie structure, Ben Stiller is one of the most talented comedians of our time. He is rich and successful, and spends 24/7 neck-deep in pussy.

And, when we say pussy we mean Owen Wilson.

Pussy