Internet Forums

Forums are a magical place where civility is beaten, stabbed, shot, raped and killed - then burned at the stake while people dance wildly around it and steal its wallet as they pray to their orgy-loving golden idol. And not always in that order.

We'd add the Cracked member but all that really is is seeing things in lists...

Just The Facts

  1. Forums can have boards about anything: from movies to beautiful works of literature to television shows to which anime character has the biggest tits.
  2. Regarding the last one, it's probably best if you don't talk about that kind of thing in real life.
  3. Forums are often filled with people just like you and me.
  4. Unfortunately, said people tend to suffer from an extreme form of Typing Tourettes or just a spastic colon.
  5. Despite popular belief, many non-gaming forums are actually filled with pretty nice people. Why did we say non-gaming? Ha-ha...well, funny story...

The Forum

Now you folks may be scratching your head at this new-fangled word: Forum. It's a new word actually. You may be asking yourself right now: "What is this forum you speak of? Is it a type of hat you wear?"

Ha-ha, we wish!

"Is the forum on my lawn?"

A forum is an "online discussion site". Forums consist of various bulletin boards and in these boards are specific topics such as General Discussion, Movies and Why Is Everyone A Racist Retard Online? In these boards are threads which are essentially gathering places for people to talk about a specific aspect of a certain topic.

"Yes, I'd like to find out where these forums are? Is it something you eat?"

The People Of The Forum: The Forum-Goers

A Forum-Goer, also known as a Forumite or Batshit-McCrazyPants, is a member of a forum. The person may become a forum-goer when he signs up on a specific website's forum that interests him.

There are even forums dedicated to the love between Obama and his unicorn!

On the internet, or in that hip slang term "online" (pronounced "on-line"), people are milded mannered, respectful and often treat their fellow man with respect.

And through forums they can bring out the best in themselves.

Now, there have been some hoo-hah studies about how people on the internet, combined with an audience and anonymity, will degenerate into complete fuckwads for their own amusement.

Ha-ha-ha...honestly, did that surprise anyone?

This behavior of fuckwadism is known as CYBER-BULLYING.

Cyber-bullies take advantage of the fact that they are anonymous behind that computer screen in their dark rooms and do not require as much courage or energy to make fun of people online as they would in real life. So, is it to say that cyber-bullies are lazy, anti-social cowards? That's nonsense!

Another motive for cyber-bullying is you won't have to face the real-life consequences for telling someone that they're a piece of shit because anonymity levels the playing field. No one knows who you are and you don't know who anyone else is either. For all you know, the person making fun of you is either 12 or 80. And the person you may be telling to "go kill yourself" may actually be suicidally depressed. You don't know. But that's alright, you'll never see these people again and it wouldn't be like this would actually damage people psychologically. Oh, it would.

People who are also sincere enough to threaten to rape or commit "cyber-rape" also think whatever they're doing is fine, conveniently forgetting that it actually can fuck up a person badly.

"And then he told me I was fucking stupid! All I did was double-post!"

Again, anonymity encourages anti-social behavior. But it's not always like that. People who are nice in real life are usually nice online and may open up more to anonymous people than they would to people they know in real life. This is known as benign disinhibition. Of course, those who are dicks in real life tend to be even bigger dicks online. This is known as toxic disinhibition.

Furthermore, you need to study how people write online to actually determine what they really mean by what they say. Take these examples:

"Fuck You" - This person is clearly joking and wants to be your friend. He encourages you to act the same way towards him.

"Fuck You." - This person has an antagonistic disposition and despises you. Note the period, how it coldly ends his disgusting anger. He is a bad person and should be punished severely for his mean words.

"Fuck You?" - This person is not sure how to react to whatever is at hand. He should be comforted and brought to a self-help class to fix his confusion on punctuation in flaming.

Of course, anything you say can be turned against you because nobody is really sure what you mean by your posts and most likely could be taken the wrong way. It's a stretch but perhaps the lesson in this is that people should be nice and patient to each other online. That people should treat each other like they would in real life. Or perhaps when that person responds to your proud post with "Oh sure, you know everything" he's being a fucking smartass and you should unleash hell on whoever that bastard is.