Emos

Emos are followers of the emo subculture, and they generally tend be be annoying and whiny, giving them a bad reputation pretty much everywhere. Contrary to popular opinion, there is a difference between an emo and a goth.

the original emo

Just The Facts

  1. Emo fashion blends aspects of many styles.
  2. The emo subculture began in the late 80's and was picked up by the mainstream media in the 90's.
  3. The emo subculture is usually associated with depression, self harm, and generally being all around boring.

Cracked on Emos

There are three basic kinds of emos.

1.The classic emo.

They are the stereotype for all emos, and are usually seen wearing square glasses with thick rims, even though they don't actually need them. Classic emos are very picky about the bands they listen too, and will be quick to correct you regarding what they consider to be true emo. Classic emos are becoming rarer, but you can still find them around if really hunt. However, if you plan on finding them you should look very carefully, because they tend to blend in with the scenery very easily.

2. The preppy emos.

One of the most common forms of emo, they are generally classified as wannabe emos who follow emo culture for the fun of it, and because they too want to express themselves, and piss off their parents. They can usually be found anywhere, and will be quick to tell you how depressed they are and all about how they cut themselves. They usually tend to dress in black, die their hair black, and try their best to be dark and deep. The music that preppy emos listen to is usually just whatever relatively emo band happens to be playing on MTV.

3. The aging emos.

Aging emos are the ones who just turned nineteen, and realized that the opposite sex is good for more than just reading poetry too. Realizing that they now need to grow up, they go into a phase that is known as "Emo withdrawal." Emo withdrawal is what emos do for the last short time before they give up being emo. They then start defending emo culture to the core, trying their hardest to convince the world that emos are not depressed all the time, and for some reason hope to accomplish this by writing long posts on forums you frequent crying about how they don't cry all day.

Emo Fashion

Emos are basically the offspring of every style ever, except they only take the worst parts from each.

Hair is very important for emos, and the usual style involves many hours in front of the mirror combing it just right so that it seems as if you don't actually care how it looks.

Emo clothing is usually tight and several sizes too small. It is believed that the reason for this is so as to identify fat chicks posing as emos easier. Most emos acquire their clothes from various places, such a thrift store, Hot Topic, or their little sister's cupboard. (For a epic fashion showdown, see Emo vs Grunge: Fashion Showdown)

Emo Music

Music is very important to emos, and a crucial part of being emo is the bands you listen to.

The lyrics in emo music are usually dark and depressing, (but not in a cool way, more like in a "My-girlfriend-dumped-me I'm-so-sad-also-look-how-deep-I-am" way.) See "I'm Gonna Cut Myself" (AKA Every Emo Song Ever)

Popular topics for emo songs include:

"Love song to the girl who will never notice me."

"My parents don't understand me."

"I'm fat and ugly."

"I'm going to kill myself. No, I really am this time."

Screamo

Screamo is a subgenre of emo, but instead of crying during the chorus as is normal in emo music, the bands scream instead. Screamo is usually considered to be emo's failed attempt at sounding less like a crying fat chick and more like a mad crying fat chick.

Emo Band Names

Naming a emo band is relatively easy. All you need to do is find a "dark" word (Examples: knife, nothing, sorrow, crushed, bleeding,) and then insert the word into a short sentence of your choice. The result should be something like: Knives on the Sidewalk, Nothing can Be, Embrace the Sorrow, Bleeding with Flowers, We are Crushed, and so on. This process for naming emo bands is how all emo band names are created.