To score a touchdown is a God given gift to you and your team, especially if you're a St.Louis fan. Acheived by reaching opposition endzones.


Decisions, Decisions. *Defensive Dongs added for effect.

Just The Facts

  1. Touchdowns equal 6 points.
  2. You have a choice between a two-point and one-point conversion.
  3. Celebrations are required to be excessive.

Different type of Touchdowns

Rushing Touchdown

Is when the ball is handed to a player, who often has the speed of the flash tucked in his boots, these players then make the defence look retarded by dodging, dipping, diving, ducking and dodging. Finally they arrive in endzone and laugh in the oppositions faces.

Passing Touchdown

These touchdowns have similar needs to the running kind except for one minor difference, you need to be able to rip the ball out of the fucking sky or as it's more commonly known as catching.

Interception Touchdown

Similar to the passing touchdowns except this time the ball is not being thrown to you so you need to steal the ball from the poor sucker, then run like forrest and hope they don't catch you and crunch you like a stickman.

Fumble Touchdown

When a ball is dropped it's called a fumble, and to pick up another teams fumble and convert it into a Touchdown is fucking awesome/hard, even on Madden. Just try to avoid the 11 big brick shithouses players coming to crush you.

Kick Return Touchdown

Imagine taking all the hardest parts of the above touchdowns, catching a speeding ball, running 100 yards, 11 tank sized men wanting to knock you out, and putting them all into one touchdown and you have the kick return touchdown. After acheiving this you shall be immortalized by youtube.


The general rule is the crazier the better, hence...

The Complaint

A formal way of pleading mercy.

The Nap

For the tired runner in all of us.

The Diaper Change

Who says a football player can't be a good role model?

The Free My Friend

He may have killed/stole/shoved a banjo up a horse/dog/bank vault/white woman , but I/we are famous and he should be free. (Delete where Applicable)

The Popcorn Munch

Nom, nom, nom

The Lonely Boat

For the man who has everything.