According to Wikipedia, poetry is a form of literary art in which language is used for its aesthetic and evocative qualities in addition to, or in lieu of, its apparent meaning. Translation: Poetry is for people who aren't getting laid.

Shakespeare: Masturbation expert

Just The Facts

  1. Poetry doesn't have to rhyme, but any other way is a crime.
  2. Poetry appears to always be about love, but is actually always about trying to bang someone who won't touch your ding dong, or indeed your hoo-haa.
  3. Of the people who enjoy poetry, 75% will not be getting laid. The other 25% are virgins.

A Brief History of Poetry

Once upon a time, poetry was completely uneccessary, because people were getting mad amounts of ass. Literally.

Most men had a wife, and a personal boy-servant they could bugger willy nilly. Masturbation was practically obsolete.

Greeks: not gay

Greeks: totally not gay

Then the world became more reserved and buggery was outlawed, much to the relief of boys everywhere.

But this created a whole new set of problems for men, because lady-folk have a nasty habit of either not putting out, or giving it to everyone but you.

When you google 'promiscuous girl' who get an Olson twin. Apparently it's that easy to get an Olson twin.

When you google 'Promiscuous Girl' you get an Olson twin. Obviously everyone is googling 'Promiscuous Girl'.

In their misery, men created poetry. They wrote about their lack of action, and other people who weren't getting any rejoiced in the knowledge that someone shared their pain.

This continued for several years until 1955, when Elvis Presley invented music. Poetry had finally come of age, and suddenly people were singing about their lack of action. This musical poetry was called Emo.

The drugs took their toll on Elvis

The drugs destroyed Elvis' latter years.

Wishing to find a way to boast about the massive amount sex they were having, young black urban males invented the hip-hop, which is like poetry, but for people who are getting laid.

Old white people who love poetry frowned on the hip-hop, mostly due to jealousy, and needing to get laid.

Jheri curl + the hip-hop = knee deep in pussy

Jheri-curl + the hip hop = knee deep in pussy

As long as buggery is frowned upon and men have to rely on women and masturbation, then poetry will be popular, and virgins eveywhere will continue claiming Shakespeare is the only one who gets them while masturbating and weeping.

A poem from Google Images

Subtext: Patricia is not putting out