AK-47s

The AK-47 is the most common firearm on earth and the first choice of professionals and any one who's sick of their neighbors or the local hoods.

Typical AK-47 (milled receiver) seen with typical russian soldier

Even God uses an AK-47 for all His smiting need

Just The Facts

  1. Third most common element in the universe after stupidity and hydrogen.
  2. The AK-47 is legendary for it's reliability and durability operating perfectly, no matter what the hell your dumb ass did to it this time.
  3. One of the most recognizable brands on earth.
  4. This thing is so common and popular it's even featured on several national flags
  5. Widely considered an excellent birthday present for a 14 year old boy
  6. Common world market value for an AK-47 and ammo is $2 US or a live chicken
  7. The action and basic design has been built in to an insane number of variants ranging from sniper rifles and LMGs to the world's oddest looking submachine gun

History of a Legend

The AK-47 was invented by General Mikhail Kalashnikov (then a Sergeant of Tanks) because he decided that world was distinctly lacking in enough awesome to go around. So he created the most rugged, lethal weapon on the planet. Since then the AK-47 has literally gone ever where and fought for and with everyone including US special forces.

The weapon gained it's reputation (in the states) for what boils down to invincebility out of the vietnam conflict where GIs reported digging AKs out of rice paddies that had been buried there for months on end and after a quick kick to the bolt to break the rust having them function perfectly. That tradition continues today with people who make AKs doing psychotic stress tests ranging from full immersion in water, having shit ton of sand and dirt dropped in the bolt, or having large gentlemen from russian special forces use an AK-47 with a magazine inserted as a brace to do pushups, or as ladders by reguler troops.

When asked why they go to such lengths to demonstrate the AKs durability and exhaustive other tests to show over all firepower and performance the researchers and enthusiasts responded "mostly we want to make AR-15/M-16 owners feel self concious."

Practical Uses in the Modern World

Many people ask why AK 47s are needed, what useful purpose do they serve? To people who understand this question is alarmingly hard to answer because it's like being asked the purpose behind breathing, something remarkably simple and common place that you think it's just common sense but for those of us who want some examples we offer this humble list:

1. Hunting

2. Personal Defense

3. Street Defense

4. National Defense

5. Intimidating the local street thugs in to not fucking with your lawn

6. A club (you know when you run out of ammo)

7. A computer error removal tool

8. Vegetation destuction

9. Stress management and relaxation

10. Scaring the living hell out of your daughter's new boyfriend (and she thought the shotgun was bad)

11. Quality time with the family

12. Kicking guests out of your home when they've over stayed their welcome

13. preventing your inlaws from even coming in your home

14. emergency signal

15. making sure you never, ever get tail gated again

16. Scaring liberals and CNN

17. Being the most prepared SOB on the block when the robot uprising comes

18. Being the most prepared SOB on the block when the zombie horde comes

19. Being the most prepared SOB on the block when the godless communists invade (ironic no? also WOLVERINES!)

20. Tasteful home furnishings:

The uses are ENDLESS! Buy yours today!