Final Fantasy
Final Fantasy is a series of Japanese-made role-playing games created for a variety of consoles.
Just The Facts
- As of 2009, twelve games in the "main" series have been released on a variety of consoles, with several more currently in development.
- Approximately one metric fuckton of spinoff and sequel games have also been released.
- They made a game where Final Fantasy characters join forces with Mickey Mouse and characters from Tron, and it did really well. That is how insanely popular this franchise is.
Overview
Way back in 1987, a little company called Square was on the verge of bankruptcy. Their last hurrah was to be the aptly named Final Fantasy, a cute little role playing game about cute little warriors and wizards fighting cute little skeletons and stuff.
That game ended up being one of the most highly influential RPGs in history, and ended up sparking a franchise that has spawned a million billion games, a few poor-to-decent movies, and an entire community of people whose number one pastime is arguing over which male Final Fantasy 8 characters are most likely to bone each other.
Common Elements
The Story
Games in the Final Fantasy series are somewhat diverse, but tend to be about a band of adventurers led by an effeminate male who seek to overthrow a corrupt overlord, only to discover that the real problem is an insane time-traveling sorceress, or that the planet is leaking life energy, or something similarly left field. Then everyone goes off and fights a big epic battle in space. It's always in space.

"Roger, Houston. We should probably fly around and level first before we take on the last guy."
Cid
Pretty much every Final Fantasy game has a character named Cid. It's like a thing, okay?
Sometimes it's a playable member of your party. Usually it's the guy who gives you your airship. Once in a while it's a weird guy in a raincoat.

You should probably not go home with this man.
Modes of Transportation
A mode of conveyance is a great way to travel the overworld map in style. The end-all-be-all is typically an airship, because when you live in a steampunk fantasy universe, there's pretty much nothing more badass than rocking a zeppelin. Even if the zeppelin looks like this:

The tassels are for speed.
Up until that point, though, you're pretty much walking. And when you aren't walking...you're riding a big weird bird.

You should probably not go home with these people either.
Depending on which game you're playing, Chocobos can serve a variety of different purposes. These range from "necessary for reaching certain areas on the world map" to "integral to an annoying breeding sidequest that goddammit you are going to freaking finish if it takes all month" to "yeah they're in this game too."
Random Encounters
Traversing the world of a Final Fantasy game isn't simply a matter of walking from point A to point B. It's a matter of fending off all of the hostile rats, slimes, and anthropomorphic fireballs that hang out in small groups and have nothing better to do than ruin your day. There are quite literally an infinite number of these guys hanging out in every inch of the planet that isn't a town, just waiting to jump your shit whenever you are so bold as to take a few steps. It can get tedious at times, but it might go faster if you didn't insist on doing a victory pose every time you kill something.
Turn-Based Fighting
Slow your role, son. I don't care if that annoying weakness-shifting boss just became weak against being yelled at, you are going to wait until your active time battle meter fills up just like everyone else!
The world of Final Fantasy is evocative of the honor and chivalry of the Revolutionary War, before people realized that marching in single file and playing loud music was perhaps not the best battle strategy. On the other hand, perhaps a world where a vicious flesh-eating skeletal dragon follows up a exhalation of necrotic vapors with "okay, your turn" is just plain more civilized than we can ever aspire to.






Yeah, just about every Final Fantasy game has a character named Cyd, Sid, or some variation of that and a character named Barrett. Clearly the people at Square(/Enix) have a boner for Pink Floyd.
Reply"perhaps a world where a vicious flesh-eating skeletal dragon follows up a exhalation of necrotic vapors with "okay, your turn" is just plain more civilized than we can ever aspire to."
ReplyThis made my day.
Seconded. XD
FFXIII didn't have random encounters. Every enemy was on the map, and making contact triggered battle.
ReplySame with XII (that is 12, not 10-2) ... although if you wandered too close to some critters they would chase you the hell down.
As said by my 25 year old brother to me, his 13 year old sister and her friend while my friend and I were watching the FF Advent children movie "Cid is the only person in this series that isn't gay." so I said "Perfect."
ReplyFF Versus!!!!!!!! look it up, watch video, orgasm.
Replyi will own it
FF has the most manly men in the world.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesLike Reno *cough*
Vicennt Valentine isn't gay. Maybe. I dunno. Tidus defiinitely wasn't gay. Why would he have given up almost all he believed in for Yuna otherwise?
Vincent was played by steve blum. No way in HELL is he gay.
Tidus was gay, that was a cover. I mean DAMN, didn't you even PLAY that game? They were all h**o after around 4 or so. 8 is probably my fav, but my opinion is biased since 8 was my first RPG ever.
auron is manlier then chuck noris f*****g a dragon.
A FEMALE dragon. You have to be clear about these things NowInChrome.
you mentioned cid, but you totally forgot biggs and wedge- they crop up ALL THE TIME as bit parts.
Replythey're final fantasy's great double-act, usually being bumbling villains who can't do anything right.
Except play blitzball like total ballers
Or die valiantly against impossible odds
you forgot the occasion that you try to save the world, but destroy it (FFVI)
ReplyThat happens so often to me it's not even noteworthy any more. Slips the mind sometimes.
I'm a huge fan of the FF series. I've played all of them to some extent and I managed to laugh my ass off at this article. Cid and the chocobos part was genius but I was surprised the Moogles didn't get a small paragraph.
ReplyI just remembered teh Moogles and how much I had squee'd when I saw them as a child.
Final Fantasy XII is not turn-based fighting, and I don't think XIII is either... the main reason I am completely uninterested in whatever the future holds for this series.
Replyneither is X-2
Final Fantasy Tactics is one of the best games I have ever played. (This article is good, btw.)
Replyhahaha i just realized that ALL the final battles are in space lol.
ReplyThat thriller video had me scared....reallly fn scared.
ReplyWhen I first heard of Kingdom Hearts,I thought it was a parody or a hoax. Now 80% of the ppl in anime conventions are dressed as Organization XIII members! They're not even anime characters! WTF!?!?!??!?!?
ReplyI saw "The Spirits Within" and I was like "What the Final Fuckasy is this"?
ReplyThey even spelled Cid wrong! It's three f*****g letters!
The older games weren't actually that good; they had LESS substance than the later ones, on net. The ratio was just different because they had even less style than that. Let them be.
ReplyAnd I didn't see a mention of Moogles. Come on people! And the ATB system is less turn-based than it could be (Dragon Quest...)
Also the difference in Japanese numbering of 1 through 6, and the difference in everything from 7 onward (emphasizing style over substance, spawning franchises, reaching into different genres and media).
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replies7 and 8 were great. 9 and on was where things went all woodstock. you can blame their awkward fusion with enix for all the crappy spinoffs.
7 was the point where the series came off the wheels, and it's pretty much been downhill ever since. 9 was probably the last truly great Final Fantasy. 10 was an abomination against mankind.
FFX was great, but you have to play the original Japanese Version or the International Version with audio in japanese to truly appreciate it. The US Version was... *shudder*