The Komondor is a breed of dog, and a Komondor dog is best described as a mop. It guards livestock and the elements of style. It has sex with lots of bitches. It has a soft rock album coming out in Spring.
It looks like this:
In the above undoctored photo, we see a Komondor dog in its natural attire. If it wants to, it can make strong rope out of its cords. 'Cords' is another term for the thick things of hair growing out of the Komondor. They are also known as 'The Threads of Olympus' and 'Odin's Nosehairs'.
The name 'Komondor' is a modification of the Hungarian word for 'Hairy Commander'. Because it truly is a commanding officer of its craft. The craft, in this case, being the coat. Lead on, my Komondor.
Back in the 1500's, a secret society of assassins decided to train an assassin dog that would sneak into courts, befriend kings and their children as a lovable stray, and then, during the night, slit every single throat it could get its hidden knives on.
This process was long and arduous. Eventually, the society of assassins decided that the best method of smuggling assassin knives into a well protected court was not through the dog stomach. At this point, real progress began. Research concluded that the best way to smuggle killer blades on a dog was in the fur. The society began to train poodles, but soon realized that they needed something way more bad-ass than a poodle if they wanted to maintain the respect of society at large.
In order to create the ultimate assasin dog breed, various strays were mixed and tested on the field of battle against wild wolverines. After 100 years of this breeding, drawing Punnet squares in the sand, and testing, and after Hungary's wolverine population began to dwindle, a shaggy-haired creature of hate, decisiveness, and bloodlust was spawned.
This was the birth of the Komondor breed. The dawn of a new type of assassin warrior had come.
During the first field test, the first Komondor agent, with five scimitars and seven short blades hidden in its floppy cords, befriended the children of a upper nobleman. After being invited into the heavily guarded compound owner by the nobleman, the agent saw some sheep and started sheep herding due to some innate genes that were correlated with the shagginess genes. It forgot its mission and has been sheep herding ever since.
The 'Assassin Dogs' project was scrapped, funding re-allocated to dolphins.
Some obvious uses for a Komondor dog include:
Some less obvious uses for a Komondor dog include:
Do not use a Komondor dog for:
Hey kids! In this section we are going to play a game with a Komondor dog!
Try to find the Komondor dog in this picture of shredded paper! It won't be easy, don't strain your eyes too much kids. Otherwise you'll develop vision problems and your parents will start drinking because they are disappointed in you as a human being.
Did you find the dog? Don't worry if you cannot, six out of ten scientists cannot find the Komondor dog in this picture, and the Komondor has already killed them because the Komondor dog hates scientists.
Always trying to figure it out. To understand what kinds of mysteries it holds. The Komondor doesn't need their kind in this world.