George W. Bush

There's a lot of things that have been said about George W. Bush (i.e. "If this guy can be president, then surely I can be president too!!) and there's also been a lot of things that hasn't been said about him (i.e. Best--president--EVAR!!!!).

You do not know how little we altered this picture.
You do not know how little we altered this picture.

Just The Facts

  1. George Walker Bush was born on July 6, 1946 in New Haven, Connecticut.
  2. 43rd President of the United States from 2001-2009.
  3. Eldest son to former U.S. President, George H.W. Bush, and freakish zombie-man-woman Barbara Bush.
  4. Goes by: "Dubya" and "Bush"
  5. One of Dubya's strengths: his "little lost boy" look is endearing to parents, little old ladies, and the growing number of pedophile priests.
  6. Some of Dubya's weaknesses: alcohol, not being hooked on phonics, and pretzels (most knowably, the soft ones)
  7. Was the butt of every joke from 2001 to about 2009.

Dubya-In Depth (Or as much as we can be)

 

God Bless America

Quickly on Dubya's personal life:

  1. Married Laura Welch, a former librarian, in 1977, which is smart thinking considering that the person you just married is someone who reads books for a living, and then obviously other people will think that you read books!
  2. Father to Jenna and Barbara Bush.

After graduating from Yale and Harvard Business School (probably from a little help from his dad's ultra rich, ultra influential friends), and after several run ins with the laws that included DUIs, drug possession, and just being totally "Bushy", he ran and successfully crushed Ann Richards in 1994 to become Governor of Texas.

Because every Texan rides a scorpion to work.

After a close and notorious election with Al Gore in 2001, George W. Bush became president. Yay! After 9-11, Bush declared a "War on Terrorism", this involved invading Iraq and Afghanistan. Things were looking good for the Bush administration: tax cuts, "No Child Left Behind" Act, and an election in 2004 against John Kerry secured another term for old Dubya. Yay! 

On August 29, 2005 Hurricane Katrina struck Louisiana (or as Lil Wayne calls it: Weezy-ana!), and the Bush administration was heavily criticized for not responding fast enough. But hey, two weeks is not that slow! Bush just spent most of the time reading "Superfudge"!
After, Kenya West said that Bush did not care about black people, his approval ratings, incidentally, started to plummet. By the time the 2008 election went by, it was clandestinely determined that Bush did not really care anymore since, hey, he had a few months left of office left, and might as well go out partying. 

And that he did

 

He now lives in Crawford, Texas with his wife.