Ghostbusters

A movie about four scientists (well, one just works for them) who go around New York stopping ghosts with all sorts of badass technology, like proton packs. Also happens to be one of the best comedies ever made.

Who you gonna call?

Just The Facts

  1. Four men with varying experience in parapsychology take down ghosts in New York City.
  2. Spawned a sequel, multiple television series, and an array of merchendise
  3. Has a third film supposedly on the way to be written by writers from "The Office"
  4. Is the best movie ever

Movie

The original concept was concieved by Dan Aykroyd. And it was insane as shit. Basically, it consisted of Ghostbusters who not only fought ghosts, but also actually travelled through time, space, and other dimensions, the whole time fighting big, menacing monsters of which Stay Puff Marshmellow Man was only just one of many. It was like Dan Aykroyd was some ADHD-riddled toddler that wanted everything he liked put into one movie: ghosts, monsters, aliens, time travel...actually, why the hell wasn't this movie made? That's fucking awesome!

To make it even cooler, it was originally intended to be a vehichle for Dan Aykroyd and his buddy from SNL John Belushi. Unfortunately, Death found out his girlfriend was cheating on him or something, so he had to be a total dick and kill Belushi before filming could commence. We haven't forgiven Death for this.

Or this

Well, it could've also been all the drugs Belushi was taking at the time.

In any case, Belushi was out, and Aykroyd had to re-write the character for the newly cast Bill Murray. There was also the problem of the insanely expensive script. Moon bases? Robot suits? Competing teams of Ghostbusters? Meeting Elvis? (All real plot points from Aykroyd's first draft). When Aykroyd brought the script up to eventual producer/director Ivan Reitman, he told Aykroy that he liked the concept, but felt that the script needed to be changed for "budgetary impossibilities". Although, through ensuing interviews, it becomes obvious Reitman just simply thought the script was fucking insane, and Aykroyd needed to reign himself the fuck in. Because the last time Dan Aykroyd was given full creative freedom, we were given this:

Like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets The Hills Have Eyes...only less funny

Sequel

Not much to say about the sequel. Essentially, we can sum it up in two words: it sucked.

Okay, maybe it didn't suck as bad as many movies. But, as a follow-up to one of the best movies of the '80s (20th Century?), it was beyond lackluster.

The plot follows the Ghostbusters as they're going out of business, because there hasn't been a lot of ghostly activity in months, and the...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Long story short, the Ghostbusters bring the Statue of Liberty back to life to fight an evil spirit...or...something. And yes, it's as stupid as it sounds. Also there was also slime or something made of...sin? We don't remember. We were too busy being disillusioned.

Cartoons

Shortly afterwards, a cartoon was created to capitalize on the film's success. And, you'd think with all the gruesome images and sexual innuendo of the movie, that the cartoon would have to suck. But you'd be wrong. Though, to be honest, we'd like to think the cartoon could've been improved with a dick joke or two.

Of course, the voice actors were different from the original cast. In fact, the only actor from the original film to audition for a role in the cartoon was Ernie Hudson. And he still lost out on the role...to Arsenio fucking Hall. That's gotta sting. Seriously, Hudson is a damn fine actor, so why the fuck is he doing shit like this and Dragonball: Evolution?

Only answer

Also, for some reason Igon's hair is blonde in the cartoon, instead of brown like it is in the films. There's no good explanation for this. The only explanation we could even think of was that the the producers of the cartoon were afraid blondes would protest for being under-represented. Which, of course is beyond stupid. Everyone knows blondes can't organize.

Merchendise

There have been many types of merchandise for this extremely successful franchise. From lunch boxes, to T-Shirts, to top-selling soundtracks, to...this:

Best Ghostbusters merchandise ever?

These also include videogames, because when you think of movies that would make badass videogames, Ghostbusters tops the fucking list. Knowing there would be a demand, a game came out the year the movie came out on the Commodore 64, and was essentially a business simulator. A fucking BUSINESS SIMULATOR! Yeah, because when we think of Ghostbusters, we don't think of badass monsters and badder-ass weapons like proton packs to fight them with, we think of finances and fucking tax incentives.

The most recent videogame to be released for the current generation of game consoles (the X-Box 360, Playstation 3, and Nintendo Wii for those readers who have been living under a rock or who try to stay hip and retro by not playing anything post 1985. And are tools), is a continuation of the film series, and follows the original Ghostbusters as they hire a new recruit (you) to test out new technologies. It's essentially the third Ghostbusters movie. And it's awesome. Who hasn't wanted to be a Ghostbuster at one point in their lives (unless, of course, you're a gay Commie. Who hates America. And eats babies)?

Future

Originally the next idea that Aykroyd was trying to pitch to studios for a third film was Ghostbusters in Hell, which was about...well, the title's pretty self-explanatory. Which, in our opinion, would be pretty badass...like Doom, only it'd be funny for the right reasons. Unfortunately, nobody was interested (not even Ernie Hudson. And he's living in a box right now). The most vocal opposition to a third Ghostbusters movie was Bill Murray himself. And, we gotta admit, we can't imagine a good Ghostbusters movie without him. Say what you will about Ghostbusters II (go ahead, it sucked balls), it would have sucked much, much more without him (Bill Murray was the only thing keeping the space-time continuum from collapsing of pure suck that could've been Ghostbusters II. Instead, it was just a dissappointing movie). There was even talk of a fully 3D version of the movie (probably because that way they could make a 3D Bill Murray without his permission).

Then there were rumors that Judd Apatow was producing with Harold Ramis to get a third Ghostbusters film off the ground. It was rumored that Bill Murray was now interested (probably because his most recent films were City of Ember and Garlfield 2: Tale of Two Kitties. Ouch) with the original Ghostbusters now cast in a mentoring role to a younger generation of Ghostbusters. And with Apatow producing, it's pretty easy to guess who he'd cast in the roles:

Michael Cera would be in there somewhere too, we'd assume

But, alas, those were only rumors, meaning no long, unnecessary ad-libbed diatribes about dicks for this new Ghostbusters film (drats!). Instead, it will be written by a couple of writers from The Office (American version. Or as we like to call it, the good version. SUCK IT, YOU BRITS!) and will still focus on the original cast as a mentoring role to a younger generation of Ghostbusters.

Now, although we at Cracked love the idea of a new Ghostbusters movie, the last time the original cast was put into a mentoring role, it turned into Extreme Ghostbusters.

And nobody wants that