Taiwan

Who wouldn't want to live in Tawain; its a tropical islandit used to be called Formosa (Portugese for Beautiful Island) so it must be idealic, right? Theres only that itsby bitty threat of atomic war that makes it not an ideal place for all our retir

The Memorial to Chian Kai-Shek. Bear in mind, all you'll probably get is a tombstone.

Taiwan is like the People's Republic of China's very own Cuba- That is, if Cuba thought they owned America.

Just The Facts

  1. Tawain is a pretty messed up country due to the Chinese civil war: it can't deceide whether to stay seperate, go under Communist rule or go independant......and die
  2. The country was first set up by fleeing right-wingers following the revolution, so hey they wouldnt do anything silly right?
  3. China has warned that if Tawain become independant in anyway or even if they lose the possibility of being unified they will immediatly go to war.
  4. You just smiled because they are very far away.

A Name and a Place Doesn't Make a Country

Imagine you and your group of friends from junior high going into high school. It's the early 20th century and everything's going okay. Everything is going fine, same as it always had before but all of a sudden puberty hits everyone in huge doses: the hick smelly kid gets good looks and all the girls (America), the hot chick turns all slutty (Europe), the plain chick gets a chest (Canada/ Australia), that artsy rich kid hits the drugs (Russia) and you devellop a multiple personalities trying to kill each other and only one will rule (China).

All depressing metaphors asside, once upon a time the land of China had a civil war that lasted 25 years. It was the first half of the Twentieth Century, American buisness savy had just bought them the world from the Europeens in a little poker game called the Great War, Russia had gone Communist and China turned in upon itself.

To make a long story short, Communist Chinese led by Mao Tze Tung wanted power, conservative/ traditional Chinese led by Chang Kai-Shek wanted stability. Chang Kai-Shek lost and retreated to the island of Taiwan where they continue to practice the culture of the "true", "tradional China". Imagine Bender from Futurama leaving a casino yelling "Fine! I'm gonna start my own casino! And it'll be nicer! And more true to what casinos are supposed to do! And it'll have Blackjack! And hookers" and then you get the picture.

But in case you're wondering why commie-land China, officially called the People's Republic of China, didn't run after them and beat their little faces into the surf, well, it's because they had friends who hated communists. Maybe you've heard of them: the United States of America.

The USA still protects their little communist hating buddy partly for human rights (...no comment...) and partly because the USA always loves maintaining a healthy dose of "Mexican Showdown with Nuclear Armed Nations" throughout the world.

Suffice it to say, Communist China never officially recognized Taiwan as a country and to this day seeks to conquer it/ wipe that smirk off it's face with a nuke. Furthermore, the United-Nations regards Taiwan as an incredibly easy topic to piss-off the Red Chinese and in the same way that Iran doesn't recognize Israel as anything more than land squatters, so do the countries that seek not to tickle the Red Dragon to eat Taiwan.

Despite the politics, Taiwan today makes a turd-load of products for companies all over the world and a owns and operates a healthy, perverted sex market- like any good Far-East land.