bridezilla (brīd- 'zil-ə) n. 1. A merging of the words "bride" and "Godzilla." 2. A new breed of brides whose desire to have a perfect wedding causes her to terrorize the bridal party, family, and wedding guests.
After many tireless hours of research, scientists have concluded that the cause of Chronic Bridezilla Syndrome (or CBS) is most likely the bride's desperate desire to fulfill all her life's wishes on one fucking day. This is of course too much for anyone to handle. Yes, Johnny Cooper asked Sarah Hanson to the Junior Prom when you wanted him to ask you. You're life has been so hard, and now that you've finally tricked a man into marrying you, you want the wedding to be everything your prom never was. But here's a news flash, prom wasn't that great. Nothing in life is ever going to be as perfect as a fairy tale. The handsome prince is never going to whisk you away and even Manolo Blahnik doesn't manufacture glass slippers for obvious legal reasons. It's just a wedding.
"Marcus and I talked it over, and we felt that a Cinderella cake would be the best design to express our style as a couple."
If you're worried that you or someone you know might have contracted CBS, watch for these signs:
*Obsession with perfection during all stages of wedding planning, included but not limited to: height of cake, types of flowers, color of bridesmaid dresses, guest list, seating arrangements, menu, music, and invitation design
*Disregard for groom's preferences
*Constant insistence that she is not being all that particular
*Constant reminders that she has been planning her wedding since she was a little girl
*Repetition of the phrase "It's may day"
*Overuse of the word "perfect"
*Disregard for politeness or even civility when conversing with hired help
*Disregard for politeness or even civility when conversing with bridal party
*Disregard for politeness or even civility when conversing with family members
*Stomping of feet
*Shrieking tone overtakes voice
*Desire to destroy large cities
"If someone doesn't redo the lattice motif on this cake, I'm going to have to fuck some shit up."