Bridezillas

bridezilla (brīd- 'zil-ə) n. 1. A merging of the words "bride" and "Godzilla." 2. A new breed of brides whose desire to have a perfect wedding causes her to terrorize the bridal party, family, and wedding guests.

Just The Facts

  1. Bridezillas will do anything it takes to make their special day perfect. Even if this means destroying friendships, the marriage in question, or even whole cities.
  2. Bridezillas seam like normal human girls, until the wedding planning begins. By that point it's too late.
  3. Anyone woman you know could be a bridezilla. Your sister, your best friend, even that girlfriend you've been considering popping the question to. Read further before you make that mistake, Buddy.

The Cause of the Disease: What Turns Good Brides Bad

After many tireless hours of research, scientists have concluded that the cause of Chronic Bridezilla Syndrome (or CBS) is most likely the bride's desperate desire to fulfill all her life's wishes on one fucking day. This is of course too much for anyone to handle. Yes, Johnny Cooper asked Sarah Hanson to the Junior Prom when you wanted him to ask you. You're life has been so hard, and now that you've finally tricked a man into marrying you, you want the wedding to be everything your prom never was. But here's a news flash, prom wasn't that great. Nothing in life is ever going to be as perfect as a fairy tale. The handsome prince is never going to whisk you away and even Manolo Blahnik doesn't manufacture glass slippers for obvious legal reasons. It's just a wedding.

"Marcus and I talked it over, and we felt that a Cinderella cake would be the best design to express our style as a couple."

"Marcus and I talked it over, and we felt that a Cinderella cake would be the best design to express our style as a couple."

Known Symptoms of CBS

If you're worried that you or someone you know might have contracted CBS, watch for these signs:

*Obsession with perfection during all stages of wedding planning, included but not limited to: height of cake, types of flowers, color of bridesmaid dresses, guest list, seating arrangements, menu, music, and invitation design

*Disregard for groom's preferences

*Constant insistence that she is not being all that particular

*Constant reminders that she has been planning her wedding since she was a little girl

*Repetition of the phrase "It's may day"

*Overuse of the word "perfect"

*Disregard for politeness or even civility when conversing with hired help

*Disregard for politeness or even civility when conversing with bridal party

*Disregard for politeness or even civility when conversing with family members

*Tantrums

*Stomping of feet

*Shrieking tone overtakes voice

*Desire to destroy large cities

"If someone doesn't redo the lattice motif on this cake, I'm going to have to fuck some shit up."

"If someone doesn't redo the lattice motif on this cake, I'm going to have to fuck some shit up."